Thread: 3rd hand smoke?
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Old 02-23-2013, 11:16 AM   #32
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Location: Ottawa, ON, formerly Vancouver, BC
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Re: 3rd hand smoke?

That's a tough situation, OP. Glad to hear your DH & you are on the same page now.

Since you are still PG, I would definitely bring it up now. You can use your PG nausea as an excuse. Some women have nausea return more strongly later in the pg, so I would set up a situation:

* buy some nice clothes in that person's size for your house (pretend it was a future gift set aside)
* have a clean bathroom/shower ready
* put on your best acting skills & invite her over
* let DH get her settled in a room in your house
* have you come home/enter room & get a worried look, start making retching noises & run to the bathroom
* let you DH explain that you're PG sickness has gotten noticeably worse, and has been triggered by smokers outside - you two didn't think of that when you invited her over - let him go check on you
* have him return and say you insist you want to visit with her, let's see if a shower would allow her to stay - and your wife had a future bday gift set aside - we could try those clothes on while we wash hers.

It might work. It likely would discourage long visits (as she'll want another cig, and would have to change clothes/shower again to do so). But it might work out in the long run and either way it allows her to save face while adjusting to the new process.

Closer to baby arriving, you could state that you've done more reading and you'd like your baby to have long visits with her without the smell of smoke as it's a potential for allergies/asthma, etc, so you'll continue to keep some clothes there for her & she can shower when she arrives.
A (usually) happy wife mama to my BOGO girls, DD1 July 2010 and DD2 Dec 2011.
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