02-28-2013, 02:50 PM
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: MB, Canada
Re: Tell me how you told *less than thrilled* parents
If it says anything, my parents still don't know about Hiccup.
When we told them about our first pregnancy, my mother stopped talking to me for 4 months. During that time she told my father that she hoped we would miscarry.
When we told them about being pregnant with DS1 they again were mad. They made comments about "hope this is a boy so you can get fixed and be done", asked if we knew what condoms were for or how to use them, etc.
We held off telling them about DS2's pregnancy for a while - and then they ended up hearing about it because my good friend told another friend's girlfriend... who told the boyfriend... who told his parents... who congratulated my mom. Follow that? Anyways, that all got turned around and they were really pissed at us for not telling how - "how dare you not tell us?", they were so embarrassed, we were horrid people for not telling them right away. And after I explained why we hadn't told them (because of their comments with the previous pregnancies) they denied ever having said any of it and said we were too sensitive.
We didn't tell them about DS3 until 13 weeks or so. I posted a pic of DS2 in a "big brother" shirt and let them mention it when they did. Again, the rude and crude comments. Much said about "if he doesn't get fixed we'll do it ourselves".
We told them about Elli around the same time (12-13 weeks). Again all the gross comments. When we lost her, they suddenly cared very much and were "wonderful" caring, doting parents/grandparents. They told us repeatedly that we were "not ever to do that to them again", that DH had to "get fixed so we never have to go through this again", that they "couldn't survive going through that again". The worst part, IMO, is that they told NOONE about the pregnancy, but once she was dead, they started telling everyone, like a freakin' badge or something to show off - look how strong and great we are
They've never been told about any of our 5 early miscarriages. They never will, not by me anyways.
And, as I said, they've been told nothing about Hiccup. I don't know when I will tell them. But I am seriously considering not saying anything until I can call them saying "We have another baby, born just a couple hours ago.".
They will be mad, but they'll be mad no matter when I tell them. They won't ever understand why I didn't tell them sooner, because they deny making anything other than supportive comments and just feel they do everything right and are great parents.
But maybe, just maybe, they won't make all the disgusting comments. And I can always use "the baby needs me" as an excuse to get off the phone.
(For a bit of background explanation, lol - We live in the middle of Canada, my parents are on the east coast. We see them once a year, if that. If they were visiting while I am pregnant, I would have told them - likely the day before they flew here or something. But they aren't coming out until August. Hopefully by that point they'll have had about 4 months to cool off and decide to accept and love their new grandbaby.