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Old 03-02-2013, 02:40 PM   #40
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,265
Re: DH wants to convert. I dont understand...

I grew up in a family that is two religions. Methodist and Catholic actually. On the surface it shouldn't seem like those two religions are all that different but my poor father (the Methodist) got an awful lot of flack for not being Catholic by my Mother's family and the priest at her church. Insinuations and full out accusations about my Methodist side of the family going to hell were constantly made. My Mom was also chastised if she would attend a Methodist service once a year or so. But their marriage remained strong because they were respectful of one another and my sisters and I were raised to respect ALL faiths.

Maybe I can offer some insight from your husbands point of view because my husband and I went through something similar as to what you are going through now. I was raised Catholic and so was DH, we worshipped together before marriage and got married Catholic. But through our marriage process in that church I grew a strong distaste in my mouth and went on a long spiritual journey where I realized that I'm not Catholic or any modern Christian religion that worships today. DH was supportive of me. I feel so strongly about my new beliefs (beliefs that I feel I always had but just didn't honor as much as I should have) that I feel VERY uncomfortable even just walking into our old church. DH still identifies as Catholic but respects my feelings and we now worship in a local church (non-Catholic), that even though I still don't hold their same beliefs I feel welcome and wanted there. DH also enjoys the church and we occasionally go to a Catholic mass for him. I think some of my beliefs bother DH but he is respectful of me and doesn't get upset when I explain beliefs to the kids like, "Mama believes __________and Papa believes___________and some people believe__________."

I think if a marriage were to experience one member go on a separate spiritual journey and the other member insisted, without care to their spouse, that the original agreements on how to spiritually raise the children should still be honored, then it would show lots of disrespect and a lack of support.

Spirituality is something that changes as a person ages. It is not something that you can predict will never change when you get married. So when changes arise it needs to be met with another set of agreements and compromises. Isn't a good marriage about constant compromise??? Spirituality shouldn't be excluded from that.
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