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Old 03-05-2013, 07:48 PM   #24
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Hungry Caterpillar
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 5,280
Re: My 4 yo excluded from a party

Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
I do agree that at 4 years old it's a pretty big deal. Is it weird that I also try to teach my kids perspective? As in, yes, it's a big deal to you now, and it hurts, but in the grand scheme of things, it's really not a huge deal.

Dinner and drinks as a general destressor, yes. As a direct reaction to a single event, no. And definitely not as a replacement for something similar I was missing out on.

ETA: Don't misinterpret me as saying that the OP was somehow wrong for baking a cake with her daughter. I think it's great that she put the focus on her daughter and HER birthday memories. I love baking with my kids and for my kids. I don't need an occasion other than, "I felt like making a cake/batch of cookies today, so I did!"
It's not weird to teach your kids perspective. Perspective is important. I agree with you. Don't misinterpret me, either, that if my car gets rear-ended I'm at a ten course tasting menu with my husband or purchasing a new, un-dented car.

My personal opinion is that at that age it's okay to temper heartbreak a little bit with the enticement of something a little bit special to take the edge off. It's okay to parent differently. Offering up a cake and some special Mommy time is an awesome way to go about it.
Mama to B and E, Wife to E
Parenting with Hugs and Terror since 2011
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