View Single Post
Old 03-19-2013, 12:48 PM   #14
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,716
Re: Why do I feel so lazy??

I also really really like this whole post. This post really articulates part of my own journey as a parent. And where my DH is getting to also.

This parenting crap is HARD. It takes a lot of work. And it's not all fun work. And, sorry parents of onlies...once you start adding one or two or three kids, the amount of hard work doesn't just increase, it grows exponentially. Realizing that you have chosen to take on that level of responsibilty is an adjustment and sometimes, we just want to shut down rather than adjust and face the fact that the reality of parenting kids is much much different than the sunshine and rainbows that we daydreamed about and read about on the mommy blogs and watch on June Cleaver 50s tv. And the difficulty isn't in the big life decisions and incidents (though it's certainly there too) it's also in the boring day to day slog-that never ending pile of laundry, that never ending parade of dishes, etc etc etc. I did a load of dishes this morning, and the dishwasher JUST finished, but I have already used enough dishes to fill it again. It's only 1:30. That's just life.
Originally Posted by ltlmrs View Post
I could have written your post. In my case there was also the addition of being totally brain dead as in I couldn't even read easy novels (and I've always loved to read!).

I second getting some blood work done. Found out I was anemic and had low D and borderline low thyroid. Taking Floradix went a long way towards helping me. At the very least if you're not already doing so take a multi daily.

But the supplements only take it so far, I found out I had to exert some personal responsibility. That's the hard part for me that I still struggle with daily.

You have to make peace with the fact that this is your life and you might as well do it well. Imagine that instead of being at home you were at a job that you hated but needed to survive. Would you risk being fired because it was a crappy job and find yourself unable to pay bills? No, you'd still have to do it and do it well until you found a way to change the situation (finding a better job). While you're looking for a PT job or figuring out what might be physically wrong to give you low energy you have to start thinking of your children and your home as a job that you simply must do.

The above is really the hardest part. I agree with the mama who talked about inertia, that is definitely a huge reason why people find it hard to change.

After that though, it's actually quite doable if you take the changes little by little and one step at a time. There are tons of resources out there on managing one's home (FlyLady, Motivated Moms, etc). My personal favorite is the blog Like Mother, Like Daughter; the place to start there is this post about doing the minimum: cooking meals and doing laundry.

As far as the kids go: different people have different personalities. Personally, I'm not a get on the floor and play with the kids type. DH is, he's able to play with them from 0 up. Me, I don't even especially like board games. I'm not really crafty either so aside from them coloring independently not too many crafts get done. But, I find other ways to pay attention to my children. I take them on walks and try to talk to them about what we're seeing. I read to them. I let them tag along and help me with whatever it is I'm doing. When Ladybug asks me a question, I try to focus on her and answer it. If Itsy brings something to show to me, I again simply focus on her and engage her.

Now, my home is still messy and I'm still on the computer way too much. I'm still lazy, don't get me wrong. But things are so much better (and I'm even pregnant!). The combination of realizing that I had to take this seriously no matter how I "felt" and the supplements gave me that kick needed to overcome the inertia and start rebuilding my life. I still have a long long way to go but now I have hope.

I'm going to post this excerpt from that post I linked to above, it really spoke to me and made me reexamine my mindset:
Kim-married to Dan
Mama to Caiti (17), Rae Rae (4), Dani Lee(2), and CJ, born 10/12/12.
Stuff From Kim's Kloset That Special Moment Photography Also come check out Swagbucks with me!
happysmileylady is offline   Reply With Quote