03-20-2013, 02:35 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Houston, TX
I could have written this 2 months ago.
Originally Posted by RealMommyLife
I seriously feel like a waste of life. I can't keep up with my house, we eat take out almost every day cause I don't cook. Not only that, but i'm too tired to go grocery shopping. When I'm home alone with the kids, even the though of having to pack them up to go ANYWHERE is just so overwhelming to me. Then when my husband is home, I finally have an adult to talk to, that I don't want to leave to be by myself again. I have 2 kids who are only getting their basic needs met, nothing more. My son who's almost 3 always wants me to play with him in his room, but I just cant get myself to sit in there for more than 5 minutes before going and laying on the couch. I find myself laying on the couch a lot. Even sitting up for long periods of time is hard. I'm dreading summer cause that means the kids will be wanting to go outside, and that means that I will have to go out too, and I just don't want to. I'm a sahm not by choice, but because we can't afford day care. I've tried finding jobs to work around my husbands schedule and no one ever calls back. I feel like this is all my life is ever going to be.... Laying on my couch while the kids run around like lunatics and drive me crazy to the point that I explode on them several times a day and send them to their rooms. It's just exhausting and never ending. I just want a break! I feel like i'm a terrible mom and human being because i'm so lazy. I hear moms talking about teaching their kids things, playing with them, doing arts and crafts, going for walks, exersizing, and then there's me. I lay on the couch and get upset when my son doesn't want to sit in a chair and watch his cartoons so I don't have to get up and do anything. I want to change and become a better person, and mom, but I just don't know what to do. Everything I do just seems pointless. I pick up the toys, and they just get drug out again. I wash the dishes, and they just get dirty again. I wipe off the table, and it just gets sticky again. So why bother?
I went to the doctor about a month ago and he sent me for blood work. My vitamin D was extremely low and my thyroid level was low. He put me on 6 weeks of a prescription dose of vitamin d and put me on thyroid meds.
I had been on thyroid meds for years, then I ran out right after the birth of my dd and I never got it refilled.
I think going a year without it plus being postpartum made me super depressed.
I am feeling a bit better, but not 100%.
The doctor want to see me again in a few weeks to redo the bloodwork. He said we could talk about depression meds then if I am still not feeling right. I am still breast feeding though, so I don't know how I feel about it.
I guess I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
Sarah, Wife to Jeremy, Mama to Aiden 5/08
and #3 coming 4/14!
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