We Made it to a Year!
I have to apologize for posting because I hated posts like these while I was struggling. I remember women posting about having too much milk and I'd be so jealous. I wanted to trade boobs with them.
I had a reduction. My milk came in great and my daughter gained great at first. Then my boyfriend and I broke up and the week after I got the flu. My supply tanked. Stress really really affects me.
I didn't catch it quickly enough so the midwife demanded I start supplementing. I started sobbing uncontrollable. Then my mental health got questioned. I did not have depression, I was just that devastated about breastfeeding. I thought we would lose our breastfeeding relationship.by ex also was demanding crazy visitation. He wanted her overnight. If she took bottles I was afraid he would have a chance (that would not have been in my daughter's best interest)
I started giving her bottles after breastfeeding. I also pumped (even though I never got milk) I took Domperidone, blessed thistle, and fenugreek. I still couldn't exclusively breastfeed.
I got down to two two ounce bottles a day, then one two ounce bottle. I couldn't seem to ditch that last bottle though. I added goats rue to my herb cocktail and at five months old my daughter had her last bottle.
I had her weighed weekly to make sure she was gaining properly. Finally the big day came and I weighed her after having been a week bottle free. She had a nice healthy weight gain. I was so happy and my nurse was happy for me.
She turned one tonight and still nurses on demand. We battled getting teeth and biting and pinching phases. We've nursed in bed, in public, and even in the shower (she's a bit of a ninja when it comes to boob.
I used to set small breastfeeding goals. First three months, then six, then nine, and finally one year. I have to go to school fulltime and be apart from her during her second year of life, so my goal now is to breastfeed as long as she wants.
I can honestly say breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It has also been the most rewarding.
I'm unusually sappy tonight. It's hard having my sweet baby grow up on me. Thanks for reading my rant.
Single mama to my sweet little girl