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Old 04-01-2013, 12:39 PM   #12
cbreeding
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,032
Re: Can I get advice re: teenager?

While I think the lying needs to be addressed and consequences need to happen. I don't think taking away the run is a fitting punishment for the crime.

Maybe instead of taking something away make her do something for you, such as one of the chores you do but don't like so much. She has to babysit (no compensation) so you can get a coffee and have a few minutes to yourself. Something along those lines.

My mom was a big one for taking away what you valued most to get you to behave the way she wanted regardless of whether it was a small or large infraction. She was extreme though. It basically resulted in more devious behavior so she wouldn't find out and a lack of attachment towards anything. One example was I wasn't allowed to have any of my birthday cake (I was 10 or 11)even leftovers because I hit my younger brother. After dinner all the rest of the family got a piece of my birthday cake. After everyone went to sleep, I snuck down to the kitchen and ate the rest. Also, after getting in trouble for hitting my brother (he told on me) and having my birthday cake taken away, I spent the rest of the day and the next day being mean to my brother for getting me in trouble.

While I do believe that taking something away can be an effective consequence, I think the punishment should fit the crime as best as it can.
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