Re: I wanted to PLUG my ears!!!
I don't profess to be AP or CIO. We have used a mixture of both because it's what worked for us. I do think that 4 weeks old is way to early to do anything of the sort especially if the baby is not thriving. So I understand the frustration.
Our girls always fell asleep with the breast (dd#2) or bottle (DD#1) until they were weaned from it. Then they were placed in their own bed unless it was nighttime and I was too exhausted to get up. For us we let the girls sleep in our bed when they need to emotionally mostly because we've gone through some major changes this year, but we have very squirmy girls and when they sleep with us I get absolutely no sleep and that's not healthy for me. So when it started to appear that they were sleeping with us simply out of habit (coming and climbing in our bed at the same exact time every night) we put a partial stop to it. Usually all it took was one or two nights of complaining (not even really crying) before they resumed their habit of sleeping the night in their bed. But we're talking about kids that are 3 and almost 2 who have proven that they can comfort themselves to go to sleep.
Also, with DD#2 I had severe postpartum depression, but didn't really realize that was what was happening until DD was 6 months old. Because of this I struggled with doing anything remotely related to AP. I literally forced myself to cuddle her and nurse her because I knew she needed it and now that I am through the depression (which coincidentally ended when I stopped nursing her at 7 months) she is my "cuddle bug".
I said all that to say this. Each parent has to decide what is right for their family and their sanity. I do not support neglecting children in anyway, but I personally (only my opinion...not intended to offend) sometimes feel like the AP advocates go a little overboard and make mothers who have a difficult time "giving themselves completely to the needs of a child" feel like they are failures. Similar to the way a CIO parent could make an AP parent feel about the way they choose to parent.
Loving wife to DH
and mama to Emma 07/06/03
and Jaida 10/10/07