Re: My dd has 2 identities..
You've already gotten some great advice from other mamas...but I wanted to comment on your temptation to send her to a charter school.
DD went to a charter school in Kindergarten. It was an awful experience. The school was underfunded, and the teachers were unexperienced, they couldn't even keep control of the classroom. There were days when I "popped in" to bring a lunch that was "forgotten" at home (I did it on purpose so I could get a sense of what was going on) and found DD literally hiding under her desk because of the chaos.
Here's the thing - public schools are typically union (in most states at least, I think there may be a few that aren't), and as a result the teachers receive better pay and better benefits. Charter schools are NOT union, and they wind up with the teachers that can't get a job at public schools. I don't want to offend anyone who teaches at a charter school...I'm sure that there are some wonderful teachers at charter schools, but for the most part, the experienced in-demand teachers are at public schools.
That said, you have gotten some awesome advice here. I find it bizarre that they are asking you to stop working with her at home, at DD's school (one of the top in the state), working at home is strongly encouraged. We had an issue last year where she was having some problems with subtraction, and by bringing in work from home we were able to determine that she was stressed out by the boy next to her that kept on saying he could do it faster.
The teacher should be 100% receptive to your input...especially in kindergarten. If interactions with her do not improve quickly, I would definitely talk to the principal and/or school counselor.
Also, even if her teacher is an excellent teacher, there may just be something about the way that she runs her classroom that is stressing out your DD, especially if she is a sensitive child. Can you visit the classroom a bit to get a feel for the class dynamic? That may help solve the mystery. Sometimes a child and a classroom just aren't a "good fit".
Samantha, law student mom to Paige (8 yo) and DS Harrison (10/8/06)
ISO: M or L Tootleshells, Boy or GN Fuzzi Fannies