first off, not posting this to upset anyone...i just don't know where else to post it since this is where all the mamas that BFed are.
ok i am sitting here on the verge of tears. i am reading a thread and i saw more then one post where they said that FFing mamas should only do it if medically needed. if not, then they shouldn't get it. to me, that means unable to produce milk. thing is, i could. i did try to BF. it didn't take long for me to see it wasn't going to work. in the end, that worked for us because my son turned out to have horrid AR. but still, my reasons for not continuing were not medical in the physical sense but emotional.
you see, i was raped. it left me seriously scarred emtionally. i have come out a survivor but it affected my ability to BF. just the thought of putting him to my breast made me sick. even pumping did that to me i tried it but it just didn't work. so we FFed and i became a happy mama and he was a happy baby. i would have attempted BFing and risked PPD but dh deployed 3 weeks after my son was born. i couldn't do it all alone. i knew i couldn't. we look back now and we are so relieved with our choice. my great gma died the day he left and i was left alone with a newborn greiving...i can't imagine having to deal with the feelings i had about my breasts on top of that. i had NO support system.
and it worked out very well for us. evan is a wonderfully happy, hardly ever sick, slender, sweet, smart, advanced in every he does (he is like at least 4 months ahead of his age group) baby. and i am happy with my choices. i am not coming here to have them justified. i just had to share my story to show its not medically nessecary but at the same time, i think it is something that is serious. its not me being lazy. and also...just in case you are wondering, since dh will be home for this one's birth and be here to watch over us, i am going to try bfing.
ok now back to my question....my story isn't medical...its emotional, but since i could produce milk, is that wrong? i mean, is it poison to my child since i could have done it? that is the feeling i get some BFing mamas (not all! a lot of you rock..some of my fav DS mamas are serious BFing advocates). i mean, should only the few mamas that seriously can't produce milk be allowed to FF? it seems that is perfectly ok then but if i was to say no my reason isn't medical...all the sudden i am lazy. that has been the feeling i have been getting and it makes me sad. i am just wondering your reasons to justify it.
ok i am sorry if none of this makes sense. i am so tired and i am just so upset from just typing out my story. but i had to ask...i hope no one is offended.