Re: husband thinks cosleeping will mess with baby???
Quite the opposite is true. Search Diana Baumrind's Parenting Styles and then attachment (not necessarily to be confused with the style coined by Dr. Sears) and find the research that way-- best arguments are based in research. Children who are securely attached (and co-sleeping is not the only way to get there, there are many factors here) do generally become more secure and independent older children/adults.