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Old 03-15-2008, 11:53 PM   #12
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Re: husband thinks cosleeping will mess with baby???

Up until the last week (3.5 years old) I've always coslept with DJ and he has always been very independent and strong-willed. During the day, he's so busy doing his own thing that he doesn't have time for me, but he loves sleeping with me at night. James is just the opposite. I intended to cosleep with him but he never wanted any part of it. He got his loving during the day (spent about his first six months in a sling and never wanted anyone but me to hold him, talk to him, look at him ) but at night, he wanted his own space. James is a year and a half now and is just starting to come out of his shell a little but he has ALWAYS been the clingier of the two and still is clingier than I'd like (I'm all about attachment but I don't want him to be scared of other people either and a little space to breathe every now and then is nice). I don't think cosleeping or not has anything to do with either of their personalities, but I've heard a lot of people make the argument your dh is making and I always have to kind of laugh because my kids are just the opposite.

When DH started fussing about DJ sleeping in our bed (a LOOONG time ago) I told him that as long as I was the one doing his nighttime care, I was going to do it my way. Obviously dh couldn't nurse him but there was always breastmilk in the refrigerator so he was welcome to give him a bottle if he wanted to get up with him. Even with me nursing, I told him that if he wanted to get up and get him out of his crib and put him back there when he was done, then I wouldn't argue but as long as I was the one doing the waking up, we were going to do things my way. One time dh took him and put him in his own bed when he was done nursing. After that, he never complained again. Lately he's been grumbling some about him being old enough to sleep on his own but when I suggest that he put him to bed, he stops cold. Funny thing is though, now that DJ is in his own bed, when he wakes up during the night he comes to our room and if I say anything about going back to his own room, dh is always the one that says just let him sleep in here! Same thing if the bedtime routine gets off at all...he's the one that wants to take the easy way out and let him sleep with us...but then he complains when it gets to be a habit! Anyway, sorry about the rant...good luck finding a compromise that everyone can live with!
Barbara - Unexpectedly back after a long hiatus...anxiously awaiting #6!
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