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Old 03-19-2008, 08:41 AM   #12
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House of Blue
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northern Ontario, Canada
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Re: What do/did you do when 15month LO had Tantrum

I really think figuring out why they are having a tantrum in the first place is the key to dealing with them. Young toddlers don't have tantrums to manipulate you, true tantrums are a genuine loss of control, it's not something they calculate or plan and use as a tactic. Their overwhelming rage and loss of control often terrifies them, it can be a horrible experience. So I really think you don't want them to feel rewarded for them but at the same time I don't think you want to punish them for something they can't control. When the tantrum is over, continue on with your day like the tantrum never happened. They look to you for stability even when you don't think they do.

I really think you need to deal with (or avoid) the trigger of a tantrum whenever possible. But also keep in mind that as your child becomes better at finding ways to communicate the tantrums should become less and less frequent. Just remember to stay firm, if the tantrum is over candy in the grocery store check out that your LO can't have- You acknowledge and sympathize with their frustration (Say something like, "You are mad you can't have that candy aren't you?") but remain firm that they can't have what they want in this situation, give them a hug if you have to and try to calm them (some kids don't want to be touched when they tantrum so this is when a time out works really well) but make sure you validate their frustration. You can't ever give in. Giving in only confuses them and irritates the situation because the outcome of a tantrum is unpredictable. And toddlers need the stability of being able to predict an outcome of something like this. You may go through drama when you pass that candy 5 or 6 more times but one day they will just not freak out anymore.

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