Re: "Bad" parenting or just different?
This is a tough one. I don't think she is a bad parent, but could use some guidance.
IMO, the bottle propping and sleeping in the car seat can be dangerous. Letting babies sleep in car seats has been linked to death and life threatening breathing problems. The position of the head and neck when the infant is in an upright position is what leads to difficulty breathing. Having said that, I did on occasion let DS sleep in his seat. If he fell asleep in the car, I would bring him in and sit with him while he slept.
It is really hard being a new mom. She may be too overwhelmed to take in a lot of new information. Would she go to a new mothers group? Maybe talking to other new mothers would be a better way to learn about being a mom. It may be perceived as being less threatening.