Re: refusing nap
My 25-mo-old boycotted them fairly consistently for about two weeks. She'd just play in her crib 5 or 6 days out of 7 -- and then, yes, be a bear by evening. Those days we kicked her bedtime up till 6:45 (instead of 7:30-8), and she'd sometimes go to sleep instantly then and sometimes talk for a couple of hours. But we kept putting her down for the nap anyway, leaving her there 90-120 minutes, and this last week she has slept almost every afternoon! Yay! I think part of it here was that I wasn't wearing her out enough in the morning. (I was on bed rest temporarily.) Also sometimes she'd poop about when she'd normally fall asleep, after 30-45 minutes in the crib, and once I changed her she was wide awake.
For us, the quiet time is necessary, even if dd doesn't sleep. GL, mama!
Mama to E 3/06 and M 7/08