Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)
I applaud you for wanting to discipline in a more positive, gentle manner. I was spanked as a child and know first hand the anguish and fear it caused. I vowed I would never do that to my own children. We did use time-outs for awhile when our now 3yo was around 18 months. But I quickly began to see how ineffective they were and how the message of what we were trying to teach was getting lost. It was at that point some wonderful AP Moms put me on the path of gentle discipline. We don't spank, smack hands or use time-outs. Part of it was an attitude shift. We started viewing what we used to perceive as "misbehavior" for what it is - normal behavior. Our children handling situations the best they can for what level of development they are at. We also learned new ways to handle situations that used to result in tantrums. Now we have less tantrums and meltdowns and more cooperation.
I highly recommend you checking out Jan Hunt's material. Her book "The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart" is an excellent gentle discipline resource. As well as her website www.naturalchild.com/articles