Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)
I think hitting and spanking are not the same thing? We make it REALLY clear to our kiddos that they may choose to (a) obey us or (b) have a spanking. Every time they have chosen a spanking, they run to us right after and hug us.
I am still learning a LOT about parenting, and I certainly don't have the answer to this one. And they're still little, so our issues are very simple. But that works for us.
HUGS to you, mama - your son is blessed to have a mommy who loves him so much. He is learning by seeing you grow and change - you are teaching him that we can all learn more about each other and keep working to find the best situation. He will learn to love others by watching you love him.