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Old 10-25-2008, 12:22 AM   #6
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snangel
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Re: Anyone follow Dr. John Rosemonds style of Parenting?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I don't, because I feel that the consequences have to be logical or natural in order to hit home. I also feel that parent-centered books aren't really the answer, any more than child-centered books are. The best advice I've ever read comes from Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, and every other religion/philosophy out there:

treat others as you would like to be treated.

That's it. It's simple, but it's effective. If you don't want it done to you, don't do it to your child. You don't feel that your dh taking away your possessions for two weeks is fair? That he's being too controlling? That it's a stupid way to tell you that you hurt his feelings? Same for a child. Size should make no difference in the amount of respect we give each other. If you need a hug when you are upset, but ignore your child until he stops tantrumming, on principle no less, then how do you teach him empathy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
To me taking a door off the hinges because of door slamming follows a more natural path than say removing all of a child's belongings because they back talked you. A natural consequence of slamming the door might be the door breaking and the child no longer having a door, or the child being hurt in the door. As a parent we want to protect our child from that extreme of an outcome so we give them a slightly lesser consequence. The door isn't permanently damaged, and they are protected from physical harm, but the see what happens if they don't care for their property. And so they can think through the process next time. Just as your dh knows that he can't slam a door in a fit of anger because he knows if he does it he will have to repair the damage he causes. Now maybe some day he would be angry enough to not care, we all can be overwhelmed sometimes, but he knows the consequences nature puts in place. As parents we have to guide our children through these consequences. I do this even with my youngest. A natural consequence of him slamming his favorite toy against a wall in anger might be his toy being broken (or a hole in my wall), but instead I take the toy away for a time out, he can have it back when he is calmer. A natural consequence of not caring for your posessions is that your possessions get destroyed or lost.

AS far as the particular method posted about, I don't like to use punitive parenting approaches. I prefer to stick to more natural parenting techniques where possible. And I would never use a Christian based discipline tool.
I absolutely agree
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