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Old 10-27-2008, 05:31 PM   #10
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Re: Anyone follow Dr. John Rosemonds style of Parenting?

Originally Posted by tamarag View Post
I agree that the punishment should fit the crime! Throw the toy...take it away. But how do you punish a 5 yo that has a mouth like a teenager! Or how do you treat the tantrums or dropping on the floor when something doesn't go exactly her way?!
The Mouth - you are a person, deserving of respect because you ARE a person. If that respect is not given, you are not obligated to stand there and take the abuse. You are allowed to preserve your dignity and your respect for yourself by saying "I don't like to be talked to that way." and leaving, or ignoring the offender. When the request is made politely, then you respond in kind. If The Mouth is in response to being asked to do something, a rephrase is often in order - anything from a simple "excuse me?" to "I know you are angry, but I won't stand here and listen to that. I'll be glad to talk with you about it later."

The Tantrum - your child is a person, deserving of respect because she IS a person. Tantrums are a way of letting off steam and showing our emotions. They need guidance and care, love and understanding. A child learning to control these emotions will slip and need someone to help her learn to calm down, or find other outlets like a journal (written or drawn), playing with dolls, bean bags, or quiet time to reflect. They need help with that - it's not an intuitive trait for most of us, though we all find ways to cope eventually. Talking about it and reflecting her feelings helps her calm down just like you telling your best friend about your sucky day and her joining in with your groans and exclamations. Children need the shoulder that adults get without thinking about it. It's okay to be upset, and it's okay to help her learn how to deal with that upset.
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