01-21-2007, 01:55 PM
Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me
Join Date: May 2006
Non-spankers (could also go with ppd...)
So, I'm trying to make myself feel better. lol I do not believe in spanking in any way, shape, or form. My parents would spank me with the belt, and all it ever taught me was to be sneaky and to be afraid of them. To this day, I still jump if I'm doing something and somebody walks into the room because I'm (subconciously) afraid that anything I'm doing will be interpretted as being "wrong" and I will be hit for it.
Anyway...DS was nursing the other day. He just got his first tooth a week or two ago. So anyway, this was the first time he'd really bitten me since he got teeth and it HURT. I calmly responded, took him off, explained to him that it is not nice to bite people (DH always laughs at me when I do this since DS is only 9 months old, but I figure if I start explaining things now, I will already be in the habit of it when he IS old enough to understand). So I latched him back on and he went back to nursing.
I got involved in something on the computer I think and he bit me again. Without thinking at all, I smacked him pretty hard on the top of the head. I was reacting like the cat had bitten me or something. It didn't really even phase him...he didn't cry or anything, but I felt TERRIBLE. I couldn't believe I'd done that. He's just a baby! He didn't know any better.
So...I guess I'm just trying to figure out how many other people are naturally wired to hit and have to struggle against it. It seems so many parents have it so easy and that hitting never even crosses their mind. But the way I grew up, that seems to always be my first reaction. I've been really proud of myself that I've made it 9 months without doing anything like this. So it broke my heart when my "instincts" had control instead of my head & my heart.
wife of Wes
11/16/02, Partner of Jamie
SAHM to Xander