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Old 01-23-2007, 07:11 PM   #54
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central North Carolina
Posts: 838
Re: how much could you handle doing it solo?

First to Homebirthmomma.... I went through a bad marriage where he cheated on me while I was preggers w/ ds. I did a lot of soul searching just like you are and finally decided to kick him out. I won't lie, it was HARD at first, so I can only imagine how it would be with our kiddos. My motto has always been, "I'd rather be miserable alone than with someone else".. You can make it. It's gonna be tough and hard on you and the kids, but talk to them. They can be such a source of strength for us mommas andmost kids would rather have moma nd dad seperated than to grow up in amiserable environment where no one was happy.

As for filing for divorce, I'm not sure what state you live in, but most have a seperation period before you can file. (In North Carolina, it's a year). If he is going to change, it "should" hit him during that time frame. By change I mean decide that his family is the most important thing in the world to him and that he can't live without ya'll.

If it was me, I'd def. make a plan, like some of these other mommas have said. Go open an account in your name only at a different bank, and start stashing some money in it. Set a date in your May 1st to leave. Tell him you are thinking about leaving and want to work it out, but it's gonna take both of you. Maybe he is just so immature that having the responsibility of a child is terrifying him so much that it's making him revert back to one himself. That is no excuse, but could explain the partying and being so selfish. Since you are a one income family, you should qualify for legal aid (lawyer if you decide to file). Also, being a SAHM, more than likely YOU would get the car and house... oh yeah and child and spousal support.

And to Martypants.... let me give you a little advise that my grandmother used to say "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything". Not such a great start to being a member here. We are here to support each other... if we wanted to be bashed we'd talk to the men in our lives!!!!! This momma didn't ask you to psychoanalize her relationship (of which you know NOTHING), she needs a shoulder and an ear and if you can't provide either in cases like these, don't post!!!!! I'm sure that most mommas would agree!
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