03-20-2009, 10:53 AM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Currently MO; but wherever the Marines send us. SoCal at heart.
"done" or "not done"?? LONNGG......
I am really struggling with this right now. I have three boys aged 6, 3, and 15 months. Life is busy and the kids are getting bigger. Our oldest is a helper and a very easy going child. Middle is more of a handful and takes A LOT of work every day, but he is super smart. Little is just starting to get the hang of independence, still nursing, great sleeper! DH says he thinks he is done and has mentioned to me in passing, not a big convo, that he wants to have a vasectomy. This makes me very confused.
For a little TMI, I get preggo a little too easily. We have not planned any pregnancy in fact were using a few different methods of BC when kiddos were concieved. Now, its a blessing but, can be a pain to have to worry about. Since having YDS, we have been using condoms religiously and have had no scares. I am not ready for another right now. Also, DH is set to deploy in Oct to Iraq so now isnt a good time anyway. We are 25 and 26 and even though things seem kinda tight right now, we are so young! What if in 3 years things are better and we want another and cant because he rushed off to the uro a little too soon? I know he is tired of using condoms but this??? I am not a good candidate for an IUD, which I would glady use, because I have had three c/s and have pretty severe uterine scarring from one being emergency. The gyno is concerned of rupture. On the other hand, I am stil BF and plan to until his 2nd bday or if he weens before then so the pill isnt much of an option for now. Lastly, DH isnt circumcised and I have had problems in the past with infections being caused by some kind of bacteria. There is no way to know for certain that the bacteria came form him (he has great hygiene practices) but with the wire protruding into the vag from the uterus (IUD) I worry about it being a passageway for a uterine infection. ???
Also, I have heard it said that you KNOW when your done and if your unsure, then your not. Is this true? Can anyone weigh in on this? I am not selfish enough to force another baby on my husband if he's truly done but I think he might be using the vasectomy as a birth control option without truly realizing the permanancy of it. He has mentioned that he is tired of the condoms. (I kinda am too...).
Has anyone had any experience with regret of a vasectomy? My parents were young when we were born and by the time my little brother was born, they were both 22 and in college and struggling financially. He had the vasectomy when my brother was three months old and now, at almost 50, he openly regrets not having another. He says he wishes he could have seen the bigger picture than the money and age. But that at the time, they couldnt risk my mom getting pregnant again. SO, he used it as BC and regrets it.
I am so confused. We will talk about this eventually more seriously but for now, I dont even know where I stand. The only thing I know is that I DONT want him getting this vasectomy. Its so hard to tell if I am feeling upset because I want more or if I am upset at the thought of never experiencing it again. Is this normal? I know I would glady have another....(especially a girll... ) but....ugh. Im rambling.
SO..... weigh in, what are your thoughts?
Wife to one amazing husband.
Mom to FOUR amazing blessings.