Re: Some advice would be great.
First, being a doula you probably know this, but basically everything the doctors say or do is hogwash. Your body is fully capable, I'm a small person and my first was a 9#er, and I pushed her out at home with no tears, my 2nd was an 8 1/2#er and I had him at home, standing up, super fast which caused a small side tear that I didn't even realize I had til a week and a half later. It healed fine on it's own. I would place money that your "needed" episiotomy's were't necessary at all, except in the eyes of the lazy doctor that just wanted to speed things up... I'm probably way to hostile towards the medical profession but I've known too many people that were abused by them.