Join Date: Apr 2006
OK, I am getting so fed up with this stupid hospital!! DJ was born at our "County General" and I was extremely unhappy with my OB and the hospital in general for a lot of reasons. While my OB was stitching me up I told her that my next baby would be a homebirth. I have been looking at homebirth this time, but I've also been seeing a CNM for my prenatal care in the meantime. The CNM I'm using delivered my cousin's baby last year and although she doesn't necessarily agree with all of our "crunchy" ways, she did at least go along with most of their wishes so I figured she'd be ok as a backup. She doesn't deliver at the hospital near us, only the one in the next county (about 30 miles away) but that's fine because supposedly that's the best women's center on this side of town anyway.
So I've been interviewing homebirth midwives off and on throughout my pregnancy and thought I had decided who I wanted to use. She's the one who delivered all of my cousin's husband's siblings and comes highly recommended by EVERYONE I've talked to. Problem is, she's nearly 100 miles away from me. The first time I talked to her she said that wasn't a problem and she delivers around here all the time. Since then, she's apparently started trying to cut down on her travel because she's turned down several people in this area. When I called her a few weeks ago and told her that I had interviewed several other MWs in this area and just really felt more comfortable using her, she pretty much flat out told me no. That's her perogative, nothing I can do about that, but I still don't feel comfortable with any of the others I've talked to around here. For a while, it didn't seem like it would be much of an issue anyway because they won't do a homebirth till 36 weeks and it didn't look like there was any way I'd be going that long. There is one other MW that I haven't actually spoken with but we've e-mailed back and forth a few times and I think I could work with her, but I've left 3 phone messages for her in the past couple of weeks and she hasn't called me back...not very encouraging if you know what I mean! Plus dh was skeptical about homebirth in the beginning but had said that it was ultimately my decision...now he's getting more and more adamant that he really doesn't want to and everyone else around us is giving us more and more crap about it. I think they thought it was something that I would get over before the time came but since I haven't, now they're really nagging us. I don't really care about that, but dh actually listens to their stupid misinformation and it just reinforces his skepticism. So anyway, back to the hospital...
This hospital is supposedly the best women's center on this side of town. So far, I'm just not seeing it. The CNM I've been seeing is supposedly one of the best around...I like her, but I also think she's a bit cocky which is not a quality I look for in a healthcare provider! She's been saying for weeks that if I make it to 34 weeks, she won't try to stop my labor and will let me have the baby. Well, I'm just about 34 weeks now (33.5) and really feeling like it will be any day now. I can't explain it...it's just one of those things you know. The baby dropped A LOT this week and feels like he's in position now. With DJ, that happened exactly a week before he was born although no one believed me when I tried to tell them...they insisted it was too early and I just didn't know. The contractions are not any harder or more frequent than they have been (as if 5 min apart is not frequent enough!) but they do feel different...and I feel different. I'm also having this very panicky feeling like I need to tie up all loose ends at work and get things ready...I just *feel* like it's coming. I know that sounds silly, but with DJ no one took these feelings seriously and I was right...so that's all I have to go on this time. Well, I was supposed to discuss my birth plan with the CNM at my appointment a couple of weeks ago but a lot of things wound up happening and it got put off. Now I'm really feeling the need to find out some things and discuss some things with her. I went to the hospital to take a tour and discuss some of their policies and they told me that you have to schedule the tour...you can't just show up. So I called the number they gave me to try and schedule and they have no openings for 3 more weeks. I tried to explain to them that there is a very good chance my baby will be here before then but that's just too bad. So I called back to the L&D ward and asked to speak with a nurse or someone who could answer some questions for me about their policies and procedures. I told them I was fine with leaving a message and having someone call me back if that was more convenient. A nurse got on the phone but she couldn't answer a single question I asked her!! She just kept telling me I should talk to my doctor and when I come in in labor, my doctor will explain everything to me. I asked what the hospital's policy was on cloth diapers...she said I'd have to talk to my OB. Umm...ok???? I asked if they allowed rooming in or if the baby has to be taken to the nursery...you'll have to ask your OB...the nurses just do what the doctor tells them. What "standard" procedures do you do on babies before they go home...shots, tests, etc....your OB will explain that when you get here. WTH!!! I know that the OB/MW has a lot of control over what happens, but I also know that the hospital has SOME policies! Besides, I've been there in preterm labor twice now...the first time, we were there for nearly 4 hours before they ever got the on-call OB in to see us...I have a hard time believing she was calling the shots then!
I'm supposed to go back to see my CNM a week from Monday, I think I'm going to try to move that up to the middle of next week. I really want to have my birth plan ready to discuss with her at that time, but I need to know what the SOP is so that I can know what things we need to discuss. They're shut down for lunch right now...I guess I'll see if I can get a message for her to call me this afternoon so that I can ask her some questions. The problem is, she thinks I'm just paranoid. She keeps saying that I'm reliving a past pregnancy and I'm just worried about this baby coming early because DJ was early. First of all, the symptoms I've been having are more than just anxiety...but I keep trying to tell her I really don't care if the baby is early. DJ was ready when he was born...he just cooked fast. My big fear is having this baby in the parking lot because no one believes that I'm in labor. She told me the other day not to worry because she's been doing this long enough that when I'm really in labor, she'll know. That's why when I went in at 31 weeks with contractions 5 minutes apart and thinking my water had broken, she let them leave me waiting to register for nearly two hours. When the contractions picked up to closer to 3 minutes apart, she still didn't even rush them to get me into triage. Because she knew I was just overreacting and I wasn't really in labor. When I described DJ's labor to her, she couldn't believe it. I drove myself to the hospital with him...my water had broken, I was having contractions 2 minutes apart, and I was laughing and walking and talking and feeling fine. It felt like a period or bad constipation. Even when it was time to push with him, I just told the nurse that I needed to go to the bathroom. Before she let me get up, she wanted to check me. She told me that I didn't have to go to the bathroom, that his head was halfway out and she called the doctor. The doctor came running in just in time to catch him two pushes later. When I told her all that, she said there's no way and that if I came in the hospital acting like that, she probably wouldn't take me back into a room either...she'd make me wait because she wouldn't think I was in labor. Well, therein lies the problem!!! This is what I keep trying to tell her (and the stupid registration people at the hospital)...they don't always know as much as they think they do and every once in a while, a woman does know what's going on with her own body! I'm just so fed up with the whole lot of them! I don't want to wind up getting bullied while I'm in labor like I did with DJ...that's why I want to have a birth plan this time. But I don't know what to put in a birth plan because I don't know what things normally do/don't do anyway. I'm just so ready for this pregnancy to be over with ...
Thanks for letting me vent...