Re: anyone else scared about having the baby?
Hugs mama, I can totally relate. I just had baby #5, and felt the same way through my whole pregnancy. I was about 5 months before I started telling people, except for a very few very close friends and DH. It is ok to feel anxious and worried about it, it is ok to not know how you are going to deal with everything, it is ok to feel stressed about adding another baby. You already have two littles, and it is hard to think about the work of another.
However, I want to encourage you to not dwell on feeling overwhelmed. Allow the feelings to come, acknowledge them, and let them go. Try to take each day as it comes, and not worry about tomorrow or next month. Make a list of things that you would like to be done when the baby is born, and think about how/when you want to accomplish them. If you can afford it, hire a housecleaner for at least the first few months after the baby is born. Put some meals in the freezer so you don't have to think too hard about feeding your family. Line up a babysitter or make arrangements with your family to help you after baby is born.
I can relate to DH not being much help. My DH works a LOT (he is the business owner, so it all falls on him in the end), he travels at least one week each month, sometimes more, and he is always on call, even at home. However, he does try to be available to help when he is home on the weekends, and will usually take over bedtime. Other than that, I just sort of muddle through it all. I know it will improve, it just takes time.
I bet if you talked with your DH about it, he would tell you it is more important to him that you are rested (as much as you can, lol), and loving on your (his) children than have a perfectly clean house and terrific meals every day. It's ok to lower your expectations for awhile. Relax and let some stuff go, your children won't remember that part of their childhood. Be gentle with yourself!
Oh, and what helped me the absolute most was taking a Hypnobirthing class. I got a few hours each week for 5 weeks to just think about me and my baby in a totally positive light, and to just relax! It was the only thing that made it possible to enjoy the last part of my pregnancy. The nice side benefit was that my birth was awesome! I highly recommend something similar.