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Old 05-25-2008, 08:26 PM   #25
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shanmarie
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: FTW Tx native, living in Norfolk Va!
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Re: Birthmom Chit Chat

I am also a birthmother to a 10 year old beautiful little girl. I guess I have a little different perspective of open adoption. I have no regrets or bad feelings nor have I ever felt any loss or grieving for her. When I found out I was pregnant at 18, I told my mom that I was pregnant for a reason, but I didnt know what it was at the moment. I was told at 16 that it wasnt very likely I would ever have children due to severe endometriosis, so I knew that it was for a reason. I think the biggest reason was to teach me about unselfish love and unconditional love. It wasnt until I was 6 months along that I decided to make the call to an agency. I had fully planned on keeping her. When I made that call, my weight had been lifted. I knew I was doing the right thing. I got three profiles the next morning by mail. I read the first two and they just didnt jump out at me. I read the last one and pretty much knew that they were the ones. I let my family and friends read it as well and they all agreed that they were perfect. I had fully planned on pictures and letters only and was completely fine with that arrangement. I met them and they offered more. They wanted her to grow up knowing me and my family so that there would never be any questions as to why I did this for her. I knew at that moment that I was pregnant so that they could have a little girl. They had a bio son that was 3 and they wanted another child but couldnt have anymore. My daughter was at my wedding and I spent my first ever mothers day with her too. It was awesome!! I havent seen her since Addison was just a baby but that is because we moved out of state and they are a very busy family. We still talk on the phone and email all the time. When I go back home to Texas, I will go and see them. Our adoption is entirely open...meaning when I go to see her I stay at their house and always have. We have complete trust and have even left her in my care. I love our relationship and I always hope that all open adoptions could be that open, but I know that it isnt possible. I truly admire all the other birthmothers on here as well as the adoptive mothers. It takes a special woman to be a mother, be it a birthmother or an adoptive mother!!!
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Shannon-proud Navy wife to Josh, loving mommy to Addison (4), Preston (2) and Cameron Bailey born 10/16/08 Proud to be Kate's-greeneyes lil sis!
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