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Old 05-30-2008, 04:12 PM   #30
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shanmarie
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: FTW Tx native, living in Norfolk Va!
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Re: Birthmom Chit Chat

Quote:
Originally Posted by momto2boys07 View Post
For those of you who have chosen open adoption:

Has it ever caused the child confusion?
Has there been any trouble with the child bonding?
If you have other children, have they ever felt "left out"?
Is there every any jealousy on either side?

These are just some questions I have about open adoption.....

Being an adoptee, I don't think I could have an open adoption. I wonder if other adoptee's feel the same?

Whether you choose open or not, I still think it is amazing that each of you has chosen to adopt!
I can only speak for myself and our situation.

My first daughter hasnt had any confusion. Her parent always answered her questions age appropriately, even when she was three. There was a lot of personal contact when she was younger so there really wasnt confusion. You could tell that she knew that there was a special bond there, but just couldnt put her finger on it. There has never been any bonding issues at all. When she was younger I would see her about 2-3 times a year so it really never was an issue with us. She knew I was someone special in her life up until she put all the pieces together and realized I was her tummy mommy and she was fine with it! I have two now and one on the way and I dont think that they feel left out. Addison is old enough to know that she has a sister that has other parents. She is only three so I dont think she quite understands it fully, but whenever she sees a picture of her sister, she says so. We have never had any jealousy on either side. We have had a wonderful open adoption and truly are an extended family. If I could go back and do things differently, I would not change a thing!! I love them and they love her. They have given her a life that I could not and for that I am eternally grateful. At the same time, they helped me to learn about unselfish love. I truly believe it is one of the best gifts in life, LOVE!!
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Shannon-proud Navy wife to Josh, loving mommy to Addison (4), Preston (2) and Cameron Bailey born 10/16/08 Proud to be Kate's-greeneyes lil sis!
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