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Old 12-12-2012, 07:58 PM   #13
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 744
Originally Posted by wordmama
Hey mamas! It's been a while since I've posted anything but congrats and hugs in S&S. But I have a problem I think only you ladies can understand/help me with. It involves the birth and life of my DD, Teagan. So if you're not feeling up to reading about children, stop now.

You can read our birth story through my siggie, but the short story is that it took us nearly 18 months to conceive her and we lost many tiny babies in that time. Throughout the pregnancy, I was terrified that I was going to lose her. I was put on bedrest at the start of the 3rd trimester because I started dilating and contracting. I was hospitalized a half dozen times. We survived pneumonia, kidney stones and an anaphylactic attack together.

My water broke at 35 weeks and after a terrible induction, I was rushed to an emergency c-section because her stats crashed. They couldn't get her out because I have a cupped pelvic floor and bicornate uterus, so they made a T incision and pulled her out by her feet. She was born unresponsive, but was quickly revived.

All this to say, I was traumatized by our conception journey and her birth. I now find myself unable to let her out of my sight. She naps in the Ergo, sleeps in my bed and comes everywhere with me.

Has anyone else been through this and managed to attain a healthier attachment? How? I tried a regular counselor and found her NO HELP at all. I'm thinking I need to find a counselor who specializes in this kind of thing. Does that exist?

TIA if you got through all that. thanks even more if you can guide me.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
I can completely relate to this. Our DD was born last June and died from a twist in her umbilical cord. I delivered her little sister on September 1st this year.. She's 3 months old and the anxiety was eating me alive the first several weeks. I talked a lot with my midwife about it.. I mean baby was sleeping 8-10 hours and I was literally waking up every hour or so to make sure she was breathing. When I did sleep, I had dreams she had died or someone had taken her and I couldn't find my baby. She's still next to my bed and I put our angel baby's blanket in there and every night say a special prayer for peace for me and ask Abby to watch over us and especially her sister. Talking about it helps. Realizing there is very little I can actually do helps (follow safety precautions, but I can't literally stay up all night and watch her sleep). Just want to tell you you are not alone! I think it is mostly normal. My midwife wasn't concerned and reassured me it was normal, especially considering what we had been through with the loss. She said take help when you can (my DH is a great help) and try to nap/ rest with your baby often. I still am in awe that I GET to have another baby when it felt so not meant to be. Hugs!
*Lynn* Catholic mama happily married to *J*
SAHM to Avé (10-24-07), Matthew :wave2: (12/17/08), Angelina (5/24/10), our angel Abigail (6/23/11) and our newest blessing Ayla Rose (9/1/12)
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