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Old 10-23-2012, 02:43 PM   #25
mibarra
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Re: Teach me how to be a better parent to my toddler. I'm failing miserably.

Quote:
Originally Posted by H's mom View Post
Bump for more ideas.

Also, how do you keep your cool and have patience? Because that's what I'm struggling with now. Yelling comes naturally to me, I've found, and of course my 22 month old is picking up on that. I smacked him upside his head with a defective sippy cup today because he wouldn't stop whining while I tried to fix it. The whining makes me want to shoot myself in the head.

Please don't just tell me "It's a hard age". I know my son's behavior is normal at this point. He really is a sweet boy most of the time and I love him to pieces. But when he acts up, what I need are tools to keep me calm when I all I want to do is toss him in the street and hope that a truck happens to pass by at the same time. It's at the point where I have decided not to have any more children because I simply don't have the right personality to cope with toddlers. What can I do?
Think of it like dieting. You have to make a committed decision that it's best for you and your child not yell/hit, and then make yourself stop. It won't be easy, you won't be perfect. I've spanked out of anger, but then I feel like an evil failure, and I hate that feeling enough to control myself.

When my children are driving me batty and I want to yell and scream and lash out, I do several things:

1) 3 deep breaths. If you make yourself stop and breathe before responding, you eliminate the 'knee jerk reaction', and give yourself time to think about a response.

2) Laugh about it. Sometimes the most frustrating parts of life are the most ridiculous, and all you can do is laugh, sigh, and move on.

3) Change of scenery! We have a membership to our local zoo/aquarium/botanic garden, so I have a year round backup plan. Sometimes we all just get stir crazy and need to get out.

4) Ask for help. I can't count the number of times I've called my mom/stepmom/DH/brother and said "Please come over here now or somebody won't survive the next half hour". Sometimes we all just need a little break.
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