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Old 08-23-2012, 11:18 AM   #1
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EmilyA874
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NW Maine
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A vent of sorts, also need opinions home birth vs unassisted vs hospital

So I'm 19 weeks pregnant with #2. We had an amazing home birth with DD and were hoping for the same thing this time. The problem is the drive to the midwives we used with DD is 2 hours one way, so we decided to interview the three midwives closer to our home (all about 45minutes-1hour drive one way). Two were way out of our price range and the third offered a sliding scale fee that we can manage (we have insurance and they are saying they will reimburse us for the home birth, but we still have to come up with the funds initially). So we went with the one with the sliding fee scale despite some initial bumps with her (she forgot and didn't show up to the first scheduled meeting, couldn't reach her by phone, waited for well over an hour hoping she'd show and then drove the hour back home; she called and apologized, rescheduled that meeting then on the day of the rescheduled meeting called 2 hours before it and canceled, she gave one reason initially then changed the reason later, so I was annoyed; finally met with her, but she was an hour late to that meeting and we had to sit around and wait for her) and figured things happen, we'd get comfortable with her. But I just couldn't get comfortable, she was late to our second appointment, then I found out that even though her paperwork and website says she does in office lab work she doesn't any more because she lost her lab priveleges a year ago. That was pretty much the end for me and I wanted out, DH convinced me to give it one more appointment to see if we clicked and we just don't, I just can't trust her, so I told her how I felt uncomfortable and we would be switching.
Now here is the thing, our only options at this point are the midwives we had with DD who I love, but they are 2 hours away and I will have to make the trip alone with DD since DH can't get off work for the times they do appointments. Then there is our local hospital. We (I) could just suck it up and have the baby there, or we could use them for prenatal care and just fail to go to the hospital when I go into labor (so unassisted). DH is kind of uncomfortable with the unassisted idea but I find it really tempting since our insurance will pay it 100% and it's only a 5 minute drive. I can't seem to decide between unassisted or the midwives we had with DD. if it weren't for the drive I wouldn't hesitate to go with the midwives, but that drive with my car hating DD...I just don't know.
So what would you do if you were in this spot? DH is no help, he just tells me to do whatever I want but I really could use some input.
Thanks ladies, sorry this is so long.
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A, wife to S Mama to DD W born at home in the water on 3/23/11!
my heart warrior DS N born 1/11/13! And sweet DD A born at home 3/9/15!
<3 Did you know 1 in 100 babies are born with a heart defect? 1 of them is mine <3
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