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Old 10-13-2012, 08:23 PM   #30
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Designsbybequi
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SUNNY FLORIDA
Posts: 1,088
Try this, it's weird but works. Whatever you want him to do, don't do it yourself at all costs! He will eventually do it and it will become a habit. Men work well on emergency mode. Women more on prevention. My dh will only step in when things are really bad. Anyway, I do not take out the garbage ever. He has let it sit for weeks. We've had maggot infestations like you wouldn't believe. Now about two years later, it gets done at least once a week regularly. I'd like it out twice a week but the second I step in, he stops everything. It's like he tests me by seeing how bad things can get before I start doing the chore again. After doing all the bills with zero help along with everything in the house and all errands including working full time, I told him it was now his turn to do the bills. He gave me a funny look but I never paid another bill since. Our electric was shut off, phones turned off, we lost our good rate on a credit card due to late payment, had tons of late fees but three years later, he pays all bills and mainly on time too. I stopped stressing and returning his movies and books at the library. After paying all the late fees he now is very conscious of when they are due back and returns them. Believe me, I was doing everything in an exaggerated way with him refusing to help. The only thing that worked was to stop doing it. I had tried every suggestion listed here and none worked. Yes, I had to endure our electric and phones being shut off due to nonpayment (one time only thank the Lord!) but it's what he needed to get him to help out. It works for lots of things and on the stubborn ones when no other method works! I hope talking to your dh, lists or making it fun works for you though, way easier.
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