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Old 02-09-2013, 07:02 PM   #17
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Location: Ontario Canada
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Originally Posted by MamaWillow
Well that didn't go well. Pretty sure I just lost a friend. I told her that the two kids didn't get along well and that maybe it was their ages, or their dynamic, or something and maybe we need to take some space for them. I also told her that I can't seem to get a handle on Rosie when she's at my house and she doesn't seem to respond to discipline. I suggested maybe park playtime but not at our house because I feel like she needs to be shadowed all the time. I cant risk having holes poked in cushions or the wall anymore. She told me i didnt tell her about that, this was the first she heard, and i told her that we were both right there when it happened. Then things got ugly. She was standoffish and said it was good that we are being honest and that we are on the same page. She wouldn't feel comfortable at our house anyway now knowing how I really feel. I told her I felt like she was mad at me and she said she was hurt because I'm her friend but she respects how I feel. And she doesn't think that Rosie should be at my house anyway. I asked her if Rosie is like that at home, and she said they have their fair share of normal kid stuff. Then I should have just kept my mouth shut but I felt like I had to say that it's not normal kid stuff. That once she told me about Rosie hurting the cats I was honestly a little concerned. That kind of behavior isn't normal for 3yos. She said thanks, rudely. I said obviously you don't feel concerned about it and that I wasn't sure that I was even going to mention it but I am truly worried about her DD. She reiterated that she doesn't want to come to our house and said she wanted to get off the phone.

Super. So I totally alienated her. I don't think it even mattered that I said the stuff about Rosie's behavior, I think the damage was already done when I told we shouldn't get the kids together anymore. What a hard situation. I'm sure my DH is going to be livid with me now, since he is friends with the dad and also his boss. Hopefully those two can let it go as "women trouble" and not let it effect them.
As far as hurting the cats I'm sorry to say but you are wrong. It certainly can be normal 3 yo behavior. Certainly not all 3 yos hurt animals but children under 6 can lack the empathy needed to understand the animal has feelings. They can also grow up and be nice normal people.

There is a huge difference between the 3 yo pulling the cats tail or squeezing the cats paw and and older child doing serious harm/ killing an animal.

From what you said she probably came away with the impression that you think her 3 yo is a budding sociopath! I wouldn't want to be friends with you or have my child at your home either.

Sounds like her parents are lax with discipline and are contributing to the problem.

I don't want you to misunderstand. " Rosie " and her parents would not be welcome in my home anymore but I do think you have blown things way out of proportion at not only your but your dhs expense.

I would think your Dh would have good reason to be mad. It's his working/personal relationship that will now be changed or maybe even ended. This is not "women's trouble" unless you don't think he will be upset you insulted his child!

Wow. Best of luck. Sounds like you situation went from bad to worse.
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