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Old 02-09-2013, 07:24 PM   #19
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Location: Central Indiana
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Re: Defiant little girl...I have to tell my friend that her DD can't play with DS any

This little girl sounds exactly like my son. We are working with a psychologist. He is diagnosed ODD and RAD. This little girl sounds like she has ODD. They need to have her evaluated.

This is the sad but real reason that DS never goes on playdates. I cannot control his behavior and he hurts kids. We saw a therapist at first, but he was a social worker, and couldn't "fix" DS. Now we are with a psychologist. Things are better, but there is no magic pill. The only way you can fix the attention seeking behavior is to ignore it, which is hard when there are other kids involved. Hurting people and breaking things are attention seeking behaviors. Basically, kiddo is going to do anything in his power to get attention, even if it is negative attention. DS throws things, scratches people, hits, tears things up, you name it. For awhile, time out for him was strapped in a carseat in the middle of our living room because he couldn't even stay in time out. At that point, he starts screaming and makes himself throw up because he knows it gets attention. You can punish attention seekers til you are blue in the face and it won't change the behavior. They thrive on the drama. You have to ignore the heck out of the behaviors to extinguish it. But oh my goodness is it hard to do sometimes. The second they do something and you react, it becomes a part of their arsenal. You have to ignore so much stuff with them.

"Parenting the Defiant Child" by Kazdin is a good read. It helps parents to A) realize that sometimes things are beyond your control, and B) how to deal with defiant children. The sooner you start dealing with this stuff, the better. DS started in therapy at 2.5, and was diagnosed full out at 3.5.

Good luck mama!
Middle school teacher by day, super mom by night
Mommy to The Boss~2007, The Energizer Bunny~2009, and The Princess~2011
My kids are no longer in diapers, but somehow, my computer keeps finding its way back here...

Last edited by luvsviola; 02-09-2013 at 07:33 PM.
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