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Old 06-24-2010, 07:31 AM   #1
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Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

I don't understand WHY I feel this way?

It's definitely a girl baby and I was so sure we'd have a boy...

I don't like looking at girl things when I'm shopping. I don't relate well to most females in real life - I'm not the catty, petty, judgmental, perfect type. I prefer boy activities over girl ones. I like pink but my husband hates it so it doesn't help that he would prefer I not buy any pink and there is almost nothing for baby girls that doesn't have pink!

But I still never thought I'd feel so mixed about having a baby girl. I mean, I love our baby - no question. I just... thought she was a boy so I was all prepared for a boy and now I have no idea what to do because its a girl!

I just want to be happy though and I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm having a hard time with this.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:36 AM   #2
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

We didn't find out the gender until our baby's birth and were expecting a boy too. It was such a shock to birth a girl that it took some adjusting too. I can relate to your feelings because I've never liked those aspects of the female world either, but my way of dealing with that has been to integrate other colors besides pink into my daughter's wardrobe and I've decided that I'd like to make a point of raising my daughter to be tough and not squeamish or prissy. And it has turned out that having a girl is a lot of fun. I've always wanted a son from the time I was a little kid, but now that I have a daughter I don't care if I never have a boy. I'm sure that once she's born and you form a bond with her you'll feel that way too.
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:46 AM   #3
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

I only wanted boys from when I was young, too! I have 2 boys and 2 girls and I was sooo hoping my last would be a boy! I know what to do with boys. When I had my first girl I was so excited and she's wonderful! Then #4 came along and when the us tech told me it was another girl...I cried. I sooo wanted another boy, they're so cute and rough and tumble but now that she's here I wouldn't change it for the world! DD1 can wrestle with the boys and play dress up and have tea parties w/daddy! It's awesome! I love the balance in her and DD2 can already stand up for herself and let's it be known!!

The wardrobes have changed quite a bit for girls, it's not all pink anymore!

Hang in there mama! You'll feel better about it soon, especially when you hold that lil' one!
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:59 AM   #4
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

You are human mama...... Try not to beat yourself up
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:45 AM   #5
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

I felt the same way you did for the exact same reasons you stated. My whole life I expected to have 2 boys and then a girl. After I found out my first was a girl, I felt like my whole life plan went out the window. I was convinced my second baby was a boy but nope...another girl.

But you know what? I love my girls more than anything else in this world I look at them and they just make my heart melt.

I'm am not prissy or girly in any way. I hate doing my hair and wearing make up and would love to just run around in jeans, tank top, and flip flops. But i ended up really embracing having girls. Its so fun to dress them in cute little outfits, and do their hair

I'm sure once you have and hold her you wont even think about it anymore.

And my personal opinion is that being sad and upset that you are not having a boy does not make you love your girl any less.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:02 AM   #6
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

Your DD is going to rock those boy diapers

You'll love her no matter what!! Once you get a chance to wrap your mind around having a girl you're going to be so excited again
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:07 AM   #7
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

I'm not in your due date group, but I have 3 girls, and I was hoping for boys w/ the second two girls I had. I can relate to the disappointment of wanting a boy and finding out that it's a girl. It took a few days to weeks to let most of that disappointment pass, but not all of it. Once I had the baby though, it was what I was supposed to have, I can't imagine my girls being boys now, iykwim. If we get pregnant again, I'm seriously considering not find out the gender and letting it be a surprise, and hopefully skipping the disappointment. I'll expect it to be a girl, and be nicely surprised if it's a boy.
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Old 06-24-2010, 09:05 AM   #8
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

I can relate to your feelings also. Our first born was a girl (didn't know until birth) and a part of me was disappointed too. Whenever I had thought of having children it was always boys. I relate to little boys better...I never played dolls, little ponies, or anything typically "girlish" when I was a child. as a child I hated wearing dresses and skirts- I was a real Tom-boy.

When DD was born, my DH was in love at first sight, and I feel like I slowly fell in love with her. I began to enjoy shopping for girl clothes, although I tried to find colours other than pink. Also, because we didn't know the gender we bought all our big items in gender neutral colours (ie. bedding, furniture, stroller, car seat etc.), so I didn't feel that I was drowning in girl colours. I found that reading books about raising girls was helpful. Especially books that celebrate the relationship between mother and daughter.







Quote:
Originally Posted by tristicat View Post
I don't understand WHY I feel this way?

It's definitely a girl baby and I was so sure we'd have a boy...

I don't like looking at girl things when I'm shopping. I don't relate well to most females in real life - I'm not the catty, petty, judgmental, perfect type. I prefer boy activities over girl ones. I like pink but my husband hates it so it doesn't help that he would prefer I not buy any pink and there is almost nothing for baby girls that doesn't have pink!

But I still never thought I'd feel so mixed about having a baby girl. I mean, I love our baby - no question. I just... thought she was a boy so I was all prepared for a boy and now I have no idea what to do because its a girl!

I just want to be happy though and I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm having a hard time with this.
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Old 06-24-2010, 01:02 PM   #9
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ttachuk View Post
I can relate to your feelings also. Our first born was a girl (didn't know until birth) and a part of me was disappointed too. Whenever I had thought of having children it was always boys. I relate to little boys better...I never played dolls, little ponies, or anything typically "girlish" when I was a child. as a child I hated wearing dresses and skirts- I was a real Tom-boy.

When DD was born, my DH was in love at first sight, and I feel like I slowly fell in love with her. I began to enjoy shopping for girl clothes, although I tried to find colours other than pink. Also, because we didn't know the gender we bought all our big items in gender neutral colours (ie. bedding, furniture, stroller, car seat etc.), so I didn't feel that I was drowning in girl colours. I found that reading books about raising girls was helpful. Especially books that celebrate the relationship between mother and daughter.
i think admitting it is the best thing you can do. I struggled with those feelings and still do.. (I don't know the sex of our fourth) I didn't find out because of these mixed feelings. I think falling in love with your child is always a process. My older dd's are sometimes hard to love but it's great getting to know each individual personality.

Don't feel bad b/c you feel this way!
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Old 06-24-2010, 10:38 AM   #10
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Re: Mixed Emotions after Ultrasound...

i felt the same exact way this time but opposite gender. i really thought this was a girl and wanted to buy pink so bad. but a girls just not in the cards for us and i love this little guy more than ever but i do still feel ashamed when i see a baby girl and feel that little bit of regret that ill never get one. dont feel bad. we cant help how we feel and it doesnt mean we love these babies any less. its just that we lost a little bit of dream we had dreamed up for ourselves. congrats on the healthy baby girl.
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