My Bittersweet HBA3C Story. **Warning Contains Death of a Child**

[weintz8]

I had noticed some decresed movement Saturday night so I drank a soda and got a few movements out of him and went to bed.

Sunday I didn't feel any movements again and we were slightly concerened so we called the m/w and she came out right away. Baby had a good strong heart beat and the heart reacted to her pushing on him so we know he was responsive. She did note that the head was very low and so the most logical conclusion is that he was resting for birth. I continued to have contractions all day but they really didn't get any stronger.

Monday I woke up and was still having the contractions but they got stronger fast! By the time my m/w came at 10:00 (for our weekly appointment) I was having to breath through contractions and change postitions a lot.

At 11:00 I called my DH to come home from work and the m/w went home to get her stuff.

I labored in and out of our Hot Tub for the next few hours. Contractions were a lot worse then I thought they would be! Being that I had never expereinced a "real" contraction before I had no idea what to expect and was shocked at how much pain there was. As an aerobics instructor and personal trainer I am used to countning through things so when a ctx would start I would start counting out load backwards for 60. This really helped me for some reason and we did this all the way till he was born. By the time I hit transition someone else was counting for me.

I started pushing at about 8pm and he was born shortly before 9. We were checking heartbeat about every few contractions. Once the head started crowning we realized the cord was wrapped around his neck multiple times.

The m/w was not able to get the cord unwrapped untill he was fully out (we realized after he was out that this was because it was also wrapped around his chest). CPR was started imediatly but he never took a breath. He was born still.

After the paramedics cut the cord and took him away we noticed a knot is the umbilical cord;



This is most likely the true problem, as he was coming down the birth canal the knot tightened cutting off the air supply.

It is impossible to think of what I went through to give him a natural gentle birth only to have lost him. My heart aches with a pain few people can understand and no one can describe.

I followed him to the hospital and we got to spend some time holding him.







He had the most beautiful curly black hair. He looked just like I thought he
would. I miss him so much.

Please snuggle your babies extra close for me, and dont be mad at their cries to be fed yet again. Treasure every moment.

[supergirljennie]

Oh my, mama... My heart breaks for your precious boy. He is beautiful. I am so sorry to read this.

[amrijane128]

I am so, so sorry. I am heartbroken for you. God bless your little one.

[greenMImama]

Originally Posted by supergirljennie Oh my, mama... My heart breaks for your precious boy. He is beautiful. I am so sorry to read this.

yes this, I am so so sorry mama, may you be filled with a peace that passes all understanding.

[2208]

I am so sorry. He is so beautiful. You & your family will be in my thoughts.

[meganne79]

I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss! Many prayers for you all!

[wyatt09]

Im crying bad and he's not even mine..Im sooo sorry mommy..was this your first or do u have others. It makes me feel how truly lucky I am and you never know what road life may take you down..He's soo beautiful like you said..Im so glad you got to kiss and love him..you will always be in my prayers.

sarah from michigan <3

[adensmom]

I'm so sorry Natalie. He is indeed a beautiful baby! I've come very close to having the same experience...my dd1 had the cord around her neck twice, and dd2 had a true knot as well. We didn't know in either case until after delivery, and I guess I've never truely considered what the outcome in either case could have been. Praying for you and thinking of you nearly all the time. Thanks for sharing with us....

[Tashena]

Oh, Natalie!
I am so very sorry. You will read those words over and over as your thread grows and people reply. Please remember that we mean it - our hearts do hurt for you.
Your son is beautiful.
I have no words that will help or heal. I will be praying for you.

[dancermommy1]

My prayers for you. I'm so sorry.