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Old 09-03-2010, 09:43 AM   #1
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What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

SO firstly...it isn't my baby. There is a little 5- month old girl that my friend who watches my daughter has taken on. I think she's actually the baby of a cousin. Anyway...she's TINY for her age. She seems generally happy, but just doesn't look like a healthy size for her age. (I may be a little out-of-perspective; my daughter was 20 pounds at her age). Her mom leaves formula, but the baby won't drink it. We found out the other day that she does nurse her, but apparently doesn't pump. The little girl goes from 7:30- 5 without eating anything! I left some milk for her this morning, but if she won't take a bottle, I'm seriously considering offering to nurse the baby when I go to nurse my daughter at lunchtime. What do you think? It totally wouldn't bother me; I just can't understand why the mother doesn't seem to be more concerned about her baby not eating...
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Old 09-03-2010, 10:28 AM   #2
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

That's a LONG time to go without eating. I'm surprised the mother doesn't seem concerned about the length of time with no food. If I were in your situation, I would want to nurse her anyways, but I understand that for legality reasons, it should probably be mentioned the mother first.

Will the baby take a cup? A medicine dropper? Anything to get some food in her belly.
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Old 09-03-2010, 10:41 AM   #3
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Food aside, this little girl is at severe risk of dehydration. Is she eating solids? How is mom keeping her supply up at all if shes not pumping during her absence which will in turn mean this lo is getting fed less and less at the breast too! My Danny would not NOT eat anything from a cup or bottle. He would have rather starved or screamed. So I arranged my work day so that I could make it home every 3.5 hrs to nurse him. It wouldn't be impossible for this mom to do that on her lunch. The fact that she isn't crying the whole time worries me that she's already suffering from starvation/malnutrition. Poor little soul. I'd probably offer too.
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Old 09-03-2010, 10:52 AM   #4
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Here's my personal experience: DD never would take a bottle, went straight to a sippy cup at 9.5 months. I was fortunate that in most instances I could take her to work with me to nurse. There were times I had to have her in daycare (or we tried in order to get her take a bottle, no way she was taking it with me around); however, I don't think more she went more than 7 hours without eating. DD was content to just wait, try as we would to get her to take a bottle (I pumped, not formula so that wasn't an issue for her.) She is petite-25th %tile, quite a contrast to her brother but has done just fine.

It's definitely the mom's call on what she wants to do. Maybe baby wakes up a bunch in the night to nurse and then "sleeps" during the day. My kids went that long at night w/o nursing by 4-6 mos.

Honestly, I wouldn't be happy about someone else taking it upon themselves to nurse my baby. Baby will eat if she's hungry enough IMO. However, I'm also wondering how the baby is doing mood-wise during the day. If she's crying and cranky all day because she' hungry, yet refusing to eat, that would bother me as a mom and a daycare provider. GL!
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:16 AM   #5
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Originally Posted by jakossi View Post

Baby will eat if she's hungry enough IMO.
I always thought the same thing, but found first hand w/ my DD.. this isn't always true with a baby.
I need gallbladder surgery, and my DD refuses to take a bottle. (and pacifier, for that matter.) So, at the advice of our lac consultant.. I left some pumped milk and a bottle with my Dh and the baby, and went to have a day by myself... in a desperate attempt to get her to take a bottle. We figured, once she figures out the bottle is all she has, and mom is nowhere to be found, she WILL take it. Boy, were we wrong. Dh had to call me home and I was gone almost 9 hours- Londyn hadn't eaten a drop.. she completely refused. She sucked so hard on her arm that she left herself a hickie, which is one of her hunger cues... but she would.not take that bottle. As SOON as I walked in the door and took her, she attacked my boob like she hadn't eaten in days. That was the first time she ever ate from BOTH sides, and left them feeling quite empty. She was STARVING, but she refused to take a bottle.
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:11 AM   #6
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

A 5 month old baby definitely shouldn't be going 10.5 hours without eating. And it leaves me to wonder: If she is there from 7:30am - 5pm without eating, then goes home & has a few hour window before bedtime, then possibly STTN; or at that age at least sleeping in pretty long stretches.. when DOES she eat?!

With that said, I would be CRAZY livid if someone else nursed my baby or even gave my baby their breastmilk in a bottle or cup; especially without asking me. So definitely don't go that route.

The daycare provider needs to get serious w/ the mother in regards to her lack of eating. She needs to let her know, at her age and size, it is NOT okay and SOMETHING else has to be figured out, in order to get the baby to eat. Does she take her to WC checkups? I wonder what her doc has to say about her weight? Does she at least cosleep, so babe can nurse throughout the night? Either way, if her mom refused to figure something else out, in an effort to get her to eat, I don't think I could watch the baby anymore. But I also couldn't just turn my cheek.. flame me all ya want, but I'd have to put a bug in someones ear, someone who might have better luck convincing the mom she can't let her baby go 11 hours without eating, throughout the day, on a daily basis. If she isn't eating all day, and then only at home w/ mom for a few hours before she goes to bed.. that doesn't leave a lot of time TO eat... and just reading this worries me for the baby.
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:17 AM   #7
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

You absolutely cannot leave your breastmilk for her without her mother's consent.

*hugs* Hopefully she will let you help when/if you ask.
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:30 AM   #8
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

First, as to the baby will eat if she's hungry, mine didn't, she just totally refused the bottle at daycare and never took it. I did go nurse her at lunch. And she reverse cycled, so insead of going a long stretch at night without eating, she went a long stretch during the day instead. And, she was a tiny thing, always under the growth charts. But she was fine, and we worked it out. And once she started solids, she ate all of her solids at daycare and just nursed at home. Soon enough, this LO will be start solids and will have something to eat at daycare, so I wouldn't worry about it if the mom isn't worried. You don't know how much she nurses at home.

http://lactationnarration.com/index....take-a-bottle/
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Old 09-03-2010, 11:57 AM   #9
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

Wow, lots of different opinions! You have given me a lot of things to think about!

The little girl seems pretty happy; she just won't eat. I know that the daycare provider has spoken to the mother about it, but I don't know much more than that. I have no idea if they cosleep or if mom is pumping or anything. To me it is worrying that she doesn't seem to be bothered by not eating for that long- almost like she is used to it now. I don't know anything about her pediatrician either.

Please don't flame me, but I did bring milk to the daycare and she did drink it from the bottle like she was very hungry. The daycare provider is going to inform the mother that I can provide some milk for the baby. I am also going to talk to the daycare provider to see if we can find out more of the backstory. (I only pump a few days a week, though), but I just couldn't in good conscience let that little girl go without eating if there is something that I could do to help. Honestly I don't care what the mother says- if the baby won't drink formula then I will bring milk if I have it. When she starts solids I might not have to worry about it, but until then I will do what I can to help. Maybe I'll get the mom a card and explain all of this..
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Old 09-03-2010, 12:12 PM   #10
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Re: What would you do? Baby at daycare not eating.

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Honestly I don't care what the mother says- if the baby won't drink formula then I will bring milk if I have it. When she starts solids I might not have to worry about it, but until then I will do what I can to help. Maybe I'll get the mom a card and explain all of this..

You cannot do that. What the mother says goes. If you think there is an issue of this little one being deprived, it needs to be reported.

Those who donate milk need to be approved by the parents and blood tested.

This is your bodily fluid, and I can tell you that I would have reported you to an authority if you had fed my child your breast milk without my consent.

Last edited by elibellij; 09-03-2010 at 12:14 PM.
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