Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-19-2010, 12:07 PM   #1
mrosehughes's Avatar
mrosehughes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arvada, CO (near Boulder/Denver)
Posts: 1,776
"Aware" parenting: UPDATE post 4

Anyone familiar with this parenting style? It's based on a book 'The Aware Baby' by Aletha Solter (a developmental psychologist) and is punishment/reward free. I am going to attend a workshop about it Saturday with DH, because it sounded like it might have some useful ideas, but thought I'd ask if any of you know anything about it or (even better) practice it!
__________________
working mom to Owen 10/29/2009 and wife to Brad.
My ISO/IHA http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/...2#post10991862

Last edited by mrosehughes; 10-25-2010 at 04:15 PM.
mrosehughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2010, 12:19 PM   #2
nakedbabytoes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Wonderful Nebraska!
Posts: 5,901
My Mood:
Re: "Aware" parenting

I wonder how different it is from Unconditional Parenting? We practice that. We are punishment/reward free here. I treat my daycare kids the same way and it works beautifully, and they teach it to the younger ones almost like it's second nature.
Hmmm......
__________________
Bye bye.
nakedbabytoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2010, 12:51 PM   #3
nini02's Avatar
nini02
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,208
My Mood:
Re: "Aware" parenting

I've heard of that book but haven't read it (yet). It sounds like something I would like!

I love Unconditional Parenting too.
__________________

Stephanie, mommy to Avery and Iona

Swagbucks / ZoomBucks / Varolo
nini02 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 04:26 PM   #4
mrosehughes's Avatar
mrosehughes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arvada, CO (near Boulder/Denver)
Posts: 1,776
Re: "Aware" parenting: UPDATE post 4

So I went to the class last weekend and it was great! It sounds like in many ways 'aware parenting' is very similar to 'unconditional parenting'. She even mentioned Alfie Kohn and recommended his book.

If I understand it correctly (and I haven't read 'unconditional parenting', but will probably do so once I've finished with my 'aware parenting' books), the primary addition/contribution of Dr. Solter's is the recognition that babies (and, in general, humans) have a biological need to cry sometimes (it releases stress hormones and is an alternative to our natural 'flight or fight' tendencies). She does NOT advocate CIO: rather she argues that once you're sure your baby's needs are met, and he/she is still crying, you hold them and give them a safe place to express their emotions (ie, cry), and try to relax while they're crying a bit to just 'be there' for them. She suggests that it's better to allow your child to cry than offer/force other 'control devices' (pacifiers, security blankets, ...) because if they're crying then they have a need to express that emotion which is suppressed when 'control devices' are used.

Aside from allowing crying/tantrums, her parenting approach is 'democratic', which as I said before sounded very similar to 'unconditional parenting' (although I haven't read that yet).

I really liked the class/technique and have a few of the books to read, and while I'm not 100% sold on the complete lack of 'control devices' (which include rocking to sleep and nursing to sleep!) I am going to try relaxing more when DS cries and allowing him a bit more time to express himself rather than immediately trying to offer everything in my mom-deck-of-cards to stop him crying. The amazing thing is that I did this on Saturday (right after the class), and he cried for an hour, and has been pretty calm/happy since (which is exactly what she suggests happens: after the release of emotions through crying baby is back into balance and happy).
__________________
working mom to Owen 10/29/2009 and wife to Brad.
My ISO/IHA http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/...2#post10991862
mrosehughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 05:17 PM   #5
dandasmommy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
Posts: 1,109
Re: "Aware" parenting: UPDATE post 4

I'll have to look into that but my kids are older (2.5 and 5.5) so I'd like to see how no reward/punishment might work at their ages.
dandasmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 05:20 PM   #6
mrosehughes's Avatar
mrosehughes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arvada, CO (near Boulder/Denver)
Posts: 1,776
Re: "Aware" parenting: UPDATE post 4

She has a book that's specifically geared for older kids (I have two that I bought: birth to 2.5 and 2.5 to 8 or 10). I'll look at the specific title when I get home and let you know which it is if you're interested
__________________
working mom to Owen 10/29/2009 and wife to Brad.
My ISO/IHA http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/...2#post10991862
mrosehughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 05:49 PM   #7
dandasmommy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: California
Posts: 1,109
Re: "Aware" parenting: UPDATE post 4

That would be great! Please send me a PM
dandasmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2010, 09:14 PM   #8
mrosehughes's Avatar
mrosehughes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Arvada, CO (near Boulder/Denver)
Posts: 1,776
Re: "Aware" parenting: UPDATE post 4

Ok, I'll send a PM, but for the interest of others interested, here are the books, with their respective age ranges:

The Aware baby: conception to 2.5 (yes, she has a few tips for pre-birth...)
Helping Young Children Flourish: 2 to 8 years
Tears and Tantrums: birth to 8 years (this is basically a condensed version of the first two books with a focus more on her unique views on the importance of crying, I think; haven't read it yet, though)
Raising drug free kids: talking age to adulthood
__________________
working mom to Owen 10/29/2009 and wife to Brad.
My ISO/IHA http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/...2#post10991862
mrosehughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.