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Old 02-22-2012, 02:03 PM   #1
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Intact- just looking for support

So we circ'd my first son. At the time it seemed like the thing to do..... mostly I think it seemed normal. Also my husband and I don't have the same first language, so the conversation I had with him about it was sort of vague because circumcision isn't exactly a topic that is often discussed.

Anyway my second son is intact. I realized that my husband is actually intact (What can I say.... I haven't seen that many of them....) and I was like..... YAY! I don't have to go through that again!!!

I don't feel horrible and guilty about circing my ODS- I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine....

So I don't usually discuss the state of my kid's foreskins. But one of the girls at work was showing me photos of her son's infected circ. (We're nurses) They wouldn't circ him when he was born because they told her he had a "natural circ" and so she had it done when he was 8 months old. Then it got a crazy infection and the whole process was horrible. I felt really bad for her, I really did.

Anyway so somewhere during this whole ordeal I mentioned that I didn't circ my youngest. And then I got eaten alive by 5 different people.

"I wouldn't go near an uncircumcised penis with a ten foot pole"
I'm thinking...... so I guess I don't have to worry about you sleeping with my 1 year old.....
"He's not going to like it when he gets older."
"That is going to get infected" ODS got a foreskin infection.... 2 years after the circ...... looks like chopping it off doesn't stop it from getting infected....

"My husband says it's not as pleasurable"
-"has your husband been both intact and circumsized?"
"No but he was in the marines so he knows."

"His wife isn't going to like it."

And they just kept coming at me with stuff like this.

I mean all I said was that I chose not to. I wasn't using radical language. When they asked me why I didn't I just said that my ODS had got an infection anyway, and he'd had some adhesions and I didn't like dealing with a open wound on a brand new baby.

When the pushed I said, "I guess I just didn't feel like cutting off bits of my baby."

They were really mean to me. I was totally non-judgmental. Honestly I don't care what they choose to do.

I need someone to tell me that I haven't ruined my son's future by not circing him.
Mae- Mama to Gustavo 10/07, Joey 12/10 and Henry 5/13
“No matter how big the lie; repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as the truth.” ― John F. Kennedy

Last edited by gingerpeachee; 03-06-2012 at 03:49 PM.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:08 PM   #2
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I would have been ruder if I were you since they were so out of line. A lot of people, especially older, are very misinformed. I was with both circ'd and intact guys before and it really didn't matter at all. I was with the guy because I liked them not their penis. Plus the intact actually did feel better so you are doing a favor to your son and his future wife!
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:12 PM   #3
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

You have not ruined your son's future by not circing him.

1. Infected? Ummm...weren't you talking about it because of a circ infection??? And, no, it's not.

2. Not as pleasurable? They can't possibly know this. But just say, then I guess he'll last longer! Although most arguments say that it is more pleasurable to be uncirced or that there is no difference.

3. His wife isn't going to like it? Aren't you married to an uncirc'd guy? You seem fine with it.

And I am a mom who has a circ'd son. They need to mind their own business!
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:25 PM   #4
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Re: Intact- just looking for support


Both my sons are intact.. never got that kind of reaction... Oh wait, my mom told me they weren't going to get into heaven because of something it says in the bible.. Well, being that I'm a athiest, it just kinda rolled off my back anyway. lol

Seems the older they are, the less informed they are on the subject.. and something tells me you were talking to a room full of older women. And the ones that weren't older probably got thier info from ones that were. lol

Being that it's about 50/50 now most women are going to find it completely normal circ'd uncirced, who cares.. you didn't even know your DH was intact, you don't seem to hate it. lol I feel bad for the little boy that got circd after after being "naturally circd" I mean, what did they cut off? yikes.

I honestly don't know any uncirc'd men that would rather have it the other way.. You didn't ruin your son. He will be just fine and Happy with what he has. don't let the uninformed women make you second guess yourself.
Jennifer; Mom to:
Miranda Isabel(ASD/Anxiety/ODD/SPD) (11) Jacob David(Anxiety/SPD)(7)
& Levi Alexander(ASD/Anxiety/SPD) (4.5)
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:27 PM   #5
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

Thanks everybody. I really needed this.
Mae- Mama to Gustavo 10/07, Joey 12/10 and Henry 5/13
“No matter how big the lie; repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as the truth.” ― John F. Kennedy
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:32 PM   #6
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

Our oldest is circ and our next 4 boys are not. When you know better you do better. When I worked in PP/SCN I assisted with many circ's. It was one of the reasons I quit. Made me cry every time.

You did the right thing momma and you should not have to defend your actions to anyone. Also statistically circ vs no circ is about 50/50 in our kids generation.
wife to Doc since 99, SAHM to Alexander 00,Nathaniel 02, Zachariah 04, Benjamin 07, Christopher 09, Grace 11 and Sophia Jane 10/12.
home waterbirth and NOCIRC!!
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:35 PM   #7
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

Those are some stupid women. DH is intact. His dad was intact and so his parents never considered circing him! I think intact looks much better than circ'd!! His penis has never been infected and I'm pretty sure that he REALLY enjoys sex.

I would have been a HUGE witch to them about how they can justify genital mutilation and if they would like if it someone took a knife to their labia without their consent!

Last edited by JustSomeChickVee; 02-22-2012 at 02:37 PM.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:46 PM   #8
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

I'm a mommy to 2 circ'd (almost 14 and 12) and 2 intact (almost 8 and 2.5).

My oldest three boys (teens) have already made the decision to not circ their son's......"just seems wrong to be cutting off parts that are already there." <--- My oldest boy's words (and he’s circ’d).

I love that my last two are the way God made them.

As for the pp, atheist, whose mom commented on not getting into heaven, the Bible actually says physical circumcision is meaningless because Jesus is the new circ (of a man's heart). It was important in the old testament before Christ came, but no longer needed now. Galations 6:15 (and tons other verses too) Just FYI for your mom.

People have noticed that we don't circ (diaper changes in Sunday school, friends, etc...), and a few have approached me. Usually more curious than ugly though. Many are shocked that the "doctors allowed me to NOT do that." Hello!!!?? You are the parent and make the choices for your children, not the doctors!

My mom thinks it is disgusting and gross and spews all kinds of ignorant info at me every time I'm pregnant with a boy or when she changes a diaper and is reminded again. It’s her own ignorance and honestly, I think she's coming around to understanding now after so many years... an elephant trunk seems almost "normal" now to her. People are scared of what they don't know. An intact p3nis isn't what many are use to seeing (sad), so when they see it or hear about it they have a natural negativity about it. Interestingly enough, now that we've been around my sons w/ intact ones for the last 8 years that is our "normal" and every time I see a circ'd, I shudder. I didn't want to circ my older two, but I was a teen mom and what can I say, my mom had a lot of say so and I didn't have a backbone. Now I’m older and have a husband who supports intactness (and he’s circ’d), so I don’t care what she thinks.
Anyhow, just feel sorry for these women who responded to you with such ignorance. Some people have an ick factor with intactness, I don't know why??? I personally think it looks so much better than an ugly circ'd one, but that's me.

As for wondering if your son will ever find a wife that will accept him (genitals and all)..... Desire a wife for your sons who will LOVE them for the kind of man they are and not for what is in their pants.

Oh...and I've never had any issues with my intact boys, but I did have adhesion issues with my 1st cir'd son. ((cry))
Jesus-loving, Unschooling, FREEBIRTHING Mommy to a bunch!
Rylan,Nolan,Gideon,Layla,Lincoln,Lulah , Evangeline and a New Baby in my tummy

Last edited by slingmama4; 02-22-2012 at 03:47 PM.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:42 PM   #9
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

There are some FANTASTIC links out there about how closely tied to sexual pleasure the foreskin is. Just do a little fishing around online and you will feel way better-sorry I can't link you now. My fave was the woman who talked about the different quality of vocalizing in lovemaking in her intact vs cut partners. Saddest are the men who either lose sensation as they grow older, or get circumcised as adults only to realize it was a hige mistake. Also, look over in sensitive subjects on this forum for the thread on restoring the foreskin. The more you read the more you will be convinced that you have done your son's future partners a favor!
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Old 02-23-2012, 07:25 PM   #10
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Re: Intact- just looking for support

I would ask them if they also circ'd their girls. No? Why not?
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