(CIO) Cry It Out = Compassion Intentionally Obscured

[el's mama]

I saw this on facebook and want to share it here. http://totscafe.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/cio-cry-it-out-compassion-intentionally-obscured/

[2+2macht4]

To each their own I say.

Need not be your thing, but no one should be made to feel like less of a parent.

I think there are just as many misnomers about CIO as there are about attachment parenting.

[BottomOfMyHearts]

Originally Posted by Serenajean1 To each their own I say. Need not be your thing, but no one should be made to feel like less of a parent. I think there are just as many misnomers about CIO as there are about attachment parenting.

Thank you.

I've done both. My first daughter was a good CIO candidate. Not only was it not "horrifying" or "neglectful" it actually improved her health and mental well being. (From getting more sleep rather than less.)

My second daughter is NOT a candidate and I co-sleep with her and will likely do so for the foreseeable future.

Not all children are wired the same way and not all parents are wired the same way.

[syfitz]

Originally Posted by NewFoundFaith Thank you. I've done both. My first daughter was a good CIO candidate. Not only was it not "horrifying" or "neglectful" it actually improved her health and mental well being. (From getting more sleep rather than less.) My second daughter is NOT a candidate and I co-sleep with her and will likely do so for the foreseeable future. Not all children are wired the same way and not all parents are wired the same way.

Yep. Same here. I had children that needed that little bit of crying to settle and slept much better that way, and others that slept better having me close all night.

[raisingcropsandbabies]

Originally Posted by syfitz Yep. Same here. I had children that needed that little bit of crying to settle and slept much better that way, and others that slept better having me close all night.

Yep, I have 4 kids and found the same thing... 2 were one way and 2 were the other...
With my first baby, I tried so hard to fit him into the babywearing, cosleep, etc category; but he hated it and would cry at me the most when I tried to force my wants of that lifestyle on him. He needed to cry a bit before falling asleep on his own (and it was a much calmer cry than when I would be trying to rock him/bounce him/soothe him to sleep), have his own space, not be on my hip all the time, and so on. I realized then that babies are all so different and I needed to do what was best for HIM and forget all styles of parenting and just do what my gut said was right for each child I had!
My second child was the exact opposite of my first! haha. My third was like my first. My 4th baby like my second. Kinda funny how that worked out.

[jen_batten]

Originally Posted by Serenajean1 To each their own I say. Need not be your thing, but no one should be made to feel like less of a parent. I think there are just as many misnomers about CIO as there are about attachment parenting.

Yep! CIO may not be for every family or even every child in a particular family. That doesn't mean that anyone should try to make those who use it feel like unloving parents.

[AnimalHouse]

Originally Posted by Serenajean1 To each their own I say. Need not be your thing, but no one should be made to feel like less of a parent. I think there are just as many misnomers about CIO as there are about attachment parenting.

[babylove921]

Originally Posted by Serenajean1 To each their own I say. Need not be your thing, but no one should be made to feel like less of a parent. I think there are just as many misnomers about CIO as there are about attachment parenting.

Agreed!

[dancermommy1]

I rather liked the link, myself, though I know many wonderful moms who love their children deeply and passionately who have used CIO. As with most things, it's less a black-and-white topic than various shades of gray.

[Melinda29]

My 6-month-old will ONLY fall asleep crying. Catch her when she she's tired, lay her down wide awake, nurse her sleep, rocking, holding, cuddling, in the swing, laying her in a dark quiet room, in the car, in a sling, does not matter, she essentially CIO to sleep every freaking nap and almost every night for bed. She is my fourth child and the older three did NOT do this. We had our typical ups and downs with sleep, but my youngest just does this.

It does not make me uncompassionate. If I could do anything at all to change it, I would (and believe me, I have tried!). So I have essentially "given in" and when she just starts acting tired, I lay her in the crib, close the door, and walk away. She CIO four times a day, every day (3 naps and bedtime). When I try anything else, including holding and nursing her, she screams and becomes hysterical. This has been going on for probably two months. She is otherwise happy, loving, and totally healthy. People comment all the time what a cute, happy baby she is. This is just how she goes to sleep. I believe in following my baby's cues, and believe me, I never expected CIO to be something "normal" for a baby, but it is for her!