Why do non-CDing people have to be so negative about CDing?

[d_arnold]

This is more of a vent than anything, but I knew you all would understand my frustration!

My SIL has a DS who is about 5 months old. She posted on Facebook that they were about to run out of diapers they had received at her baby showers (amazing they lasted that long!) and she was thinking about looking into cloth diapering since I like it so much. I've never tried to sell her on cloth, but have told her when she asks about it that we really do like it and it's much easier than I thought it would be. (I was a skeptic at first too, but soon found the "fluffy love"!)

That's not the rude part obviously....the rude part was all the ugly comments she got from people about it.

"I tried it and it was awful..."
"It takes too long and is too much work"
"Why would you want to cloth diaper" and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I responded to her and told her if she wanted to try them out that she could use some of our DD's when they come to town in a month or so. After that I quit reading the comments because I was fuming mad! Everyone else was SO negative!

I get that CDing is not for everyone. I don't try to push it on anyone but when people ask questions, I answer them. I don't give mamas a hard time that use sposies!

I don't know, I guess I'm just over the negative comments. I remember when I was first considering cloth and how negative everyone else was about it. It made me think "well maybe they are right." I'm glad I didn't end up listening to them and went with my gut because now I'm a full blown CD addict.

Rant over...

[Kabuki24]

They are so negative! Did you see the post on the "leaky boob" on facebook? She asked people what kind of diapers they use and the mom's that used disposable were soooo defensive!

I remember a time when I thought my cousin was nuts for using cloth. I even made fun of her behind her back (I still feel bad about this!)

[d_arnold]

Originally Posted by Kabuki24 They are so negative! Did you see the post on the "leaky boob" on facebook? She asked people what kind of diapers they use and the mom's that used disposable were soooo defensive!

I didn't, but now that you mention it I'll have to look it up!

My favorite response is "I work full time and don't have time for that." Honestly what is one more load of laundry when you have a baby??

Oh AND when they talk about washing poop in the washer. My response to that is "what do you do when your kid has a poopsposion and it gets on their clothes? Throw the clothes away??"

I need to get off my cloth diaper soap box now...

[deadducky112]

I could be totally off base here but when the moms who use disposables get defensive, I feel like it is because they feel inferior to the moms who use cloth, like cloth moms are better or something. That is obviously not true at all, but it wouldn't surprise me that other cloth moms came off like that.

I got a lot of flack from people when I mentioned I wanted to use cloth. I got called a hippy and was told it was a pain in the butt. My MIL got wind of it and had convinced DH that it was a terrible idea that I needed to get over, she even called and tried to get DH to give me the phone so that she could convince me not to cloth diaper. It took a long time to get DH on board, ugh.

[Kabuki24]

Originally Posted by deadducky112 I could be totally off base here but when the moms who use disposables get defensive, I feel like it is because they feel inferior to the moms who use cloth, like cloth moms are better or something. That is obviously not true at all, but it wouldn't surprise me that other cloth moms came off like that. I got a lot of flack from people when I mentioned I wanted to use cloth. I got called a hippy and was told it was a pain in the butt. My MIL got wind of it and had convinced DH that it was a terrible idea that I needed to get over, she even called and tried to get DH to give me the phone so that she could convince me not to cloth diaper. It took a long time to get DH on board, ugh.

I got one for ya, when we go over to my MIL's house, she brings me up a disposable (from her home daycare which is on the lower level) and says that these work better and I can use disposables at her house.. she will provide them (it's not like we are leaving my DS with her or anything)... I swear she thinks we are using them because I'm cheap. It just angers me to no end when I tell her we use cloth because they are better. Period.

[3rugrats]

Originally Posted by deadducky112 I could be totally off base here but when the moms who use disposables get defensive, I feel like it is because they feel inferior to the moms who use cloth, like cloth moms are better or something. That is obviously not true at all, but it wouldn't surprise me that other cloth moms came off like that.

i agree. i think one reason I've encountered is that they think they are being judged by moms who use it b/c they know it's a big push now to be "green" and that cloth is better for the environment but they don't want to use it. It's like one of those things in the mommy wars that women get defensive over....b/fing vs formula, working vs. stay at home, etc...

[d_arnold]

Originally Posted by 3rugrats i agree. i think one reason I've encountered is that they think they are being judged by moms who use it b/c they know it's a big push now to be "green" and that cloth is better for the environment but they don't want to use it. It's like one of those things in the mommy wars that women get defensive over....b/fing vs formula, working vs. stay at home, etc...

That makes sense. I don't think any differently about mamas that use sposies, but I can see how they might feel judged even though I'm not judging.

I think it really deters people from trying out cloth though when all they see are negative comments. To this day some of my friends don't know we CD because I don't feel like getting into a debate over it. It's my choice, my child, end of story.

[nicolemariep]

I think people who have never tried it don't get how easy/non-icky it is. I've been doing it for over 2 years and it still bugs my mom when she changes diapers.

I think people who have tried and quit feel like they've "failed" at it, so they put it down in order to make themselves feel better about not following through with it.

Cloth isn't for everyone. I have a friend who is very low income and could benefit from that savings of using cloth. However, she has an 18 month old and doesn't plan on having any more anytime soon and she has to go several blocks to an expensive laundromat to do her laundry. It just doesn't make sense for her. It wouldn't really save her any money at all.

But yeah, people usually think cloth is gross until they see it up close. Our pastors wife wants to do cloth with her twins because she has seen how easy it is with us and our boys. I showed her our set up, and after looking it over she said "so, it's pretty much like disposables except you wash them instead of throw them away... and they're way cuter."

A diaper is a diaper and poo is poo.

[McDMom]

Originally Posted by nicolemariep I think people who have never tried it don't get how easy/non-icky it is. I've been doing it for over 2 years and it still bugs my mom when she changes diapers. I think people who have tried and quit feel like they've "failed" at it, so they put it down in order to make themselves feel better about not following through with it. Cloth isn't for everyone. I have a friend who is very low income and could benefit from that savings of using cloth. However, she has an 18 month old and doesn't plan on having any more anytime soon and she has to go several blocks to an expensive laundromat to do her laundry. It just doesn't make sense for her. It wouldn't really save her any money at all. But yeah, people usually think cloth is gross until they see it up close. Our pastors wife wants to do cloth with her twins because she has seen how easy it is with us and our boys. I showed her our set up, and after looking it over she said "so, it's pretty much like disposables except you wash them instead of throw them away... and they're way cuter." A diaper is a diaper and poo is poo.

Exactly!

[tootsy_toes]

Originally Posted by el's mama I don't understand the rude responses either. I think it's a cop out to blame it on cloth diapering moms who "bash sposies". If a woman is going around putting women down for using sposies, then I would see why someone would feel defensive about it, but is that really the norm? This site is full of cloth fanatics but a ton of mamas here use sposies sometimes and stand up to anyone who seems to be sposie bashing. If the most cloth obsessed here aren't bashing, then where are all these so called sposie bashers? I think it comes from someone not knowing what cloth diapering is really like, or putting it down simply because it's a choice different from their's and they feel the need to defend their choice (even though no one is attacking it). I know a lot of mamas who use cloth and what we talk about is why we love cloth, not why we hate sposies. OP's SIL wasn't sposie bashing either so there was no need for negative comments. Cloth bashing isn't ok either and assuming that cloth mamas are judgmental is as bad as assuming that sposie moms are careless.

Originally Posted by McDMom Why cant people just keep quiet if they can't be nice? At our last playgroup one of the ladies saw DD had a cloth diaper on. She told me sarcastically how "brave" I was and how she was "busy enough already" (um, yea, I have more kids than she does). That got the whole group going about how its was gross and smelly and yada, yada yada. When I tried to explain the cost benefits she argued with me. When I tried to explain how easy it was, I got shut down. I finally shut up. Really, I don't get it. If you disagree with my choice, why not just smile and nod, and move on? What do you gain by being rude to the person's face? Where have manners gone in this world? There are plenty parenting choices that I disagree with and if someone wants to know my opinion, I will tell them politely but unsolicited remarks are obnoxious and rude. That is the root of mommy wars.

I have to say I agree with both of these comments, completely!