Let's talk dishes

[mrspopo]

So DH and I are at odds over something that seems so trivial - dishes. And for the first time the roles are switched. He's a minimalist about dishes and apparently I'm not!

He (yes, he) does dishes every other day, and I'd like to have enough to last us between each wash cycle. But by the end of the first day we're often out of spoons, forks, bowls, etc. Every time I bring up the issue of getting more he is adamantly opposed. That is very uncharacteristic of him. I've never seen him so passionate about something - usually he's really easy going. He says it stems back to his childhood where they had stacks and stacks of dirty dishes on the counters, and washing them took hours and they had so many that half didn't fit in the cupboards. Nobody bothered to wash them so he usually did. Now he thinks we have too many dishes as it is, and I could just cook less to make fewer dirty dishes.

So we visited a family member, and they have 4 dishes. That's it. DH was thrilled and said that would be ideal. They have 4 people in the family (3 are teenagers), and they have 4 of each standard item ie cups & plates, and 1 pot, 1 mixing spoon etc... Is it just me or is that too extreme? The idea is that you wash a dish whenever you need it and that the dirties don't stack up. Everything they own does not fill up a dishwasher. I'm baffled that he calls this "ideal." I think of that as "lets go to the store and stock up on paper plates."

[jaelynsmommy61607]

I hate washing dishes so having minimal is essential. If I let things go to far I have to wash otherwise we don't have anything to eat off of. I still have enough that I can let more than a dish washer load build up on the sink and counter. I think it would me awesome to have only one thing for each person. I don't know that I could do it tho.

[dncegrl]

Wow! I dont think we can last on just 4 of everything and 1 pot/mixing spoon etc. What if company comes over?
I am probably not a minimalist when it comes to dishes but I want to be able to have enough so I can cook Thanksgiving dinner for my family!
We have 8 of the standard dishes, which is plenty for us and also covers us if we have company over. There are four people in my family.
I probably have too many pots/pans but I just cant seem to get rid of them.
Sorry, I'm not too much help!

[SashaE80]

I need to have enough for company as we often have friends over but other than that it's all we need. We've got a set of 8 at the moment, but i will be getting a matching set, in case of breakage and also because we've got a lot over at Christmas this year. It's never not been enough, but we're strict on meal times, they are fixed, we eat together and when it's done all the cleaning is done before people can leave. I hate the thought of things being left out, even just until the end of the day. We have a dishwasher, which helps hugely but it is a slimline one so quite small, one meal, with pots pans and glasses fills it up, so it's not a case of half running a large one.

[Melinda29]

Hmmm, that's a tough one. I am assuming you don't have a dishwasher? We have one and I refuse to run it unless totally full, as that would be a waste of water, soap, and electricity otherwise, which is about once a day with 6 people here.

We actually have 18 each of plates, bowls, dessert plates, and glasses. We have 12 sets of silverware and 12 little glass custard bowls for baby/toddler dishes. It has been the perfect amount for us. I can fit all 18 dinner plates in my dishwasher after big parties, and never buy paper/plastic stuff.

I guess I would say that if HE does all the dishes, and HE wants to do them whenever you run out, then run with that. But it sounds like he only washes half the time, and you guys run out even before then. So then I would say next time you run out, ask him to wash the dishes and if he won't, nicely point out that that this is why you need more pieces. You don't want to be a slave to your dishwashing.

[usnkbaal]

We have a 8 set for have 1 friend couple over if it's more then that we do paper plates fancy I know. I have a ton of little snack bowls that we put things in throughout the day and a ton of plastic kid plates. I a, planning on getting rid of the kid plates though and buying some plane sandwich ones (we only have 2). My youngest is 2 now and I don't think we need 15-20 plastic kid plates.

I would do the only 1 per person but we have a friend over for dinner At least 1x a week and I do not want to buy that many paper plates.

[usnkbaal]

We have a 8 set for have 1 friend couple over if it's more then that we do paper plates fancy I know. I have a ton of little snack bowls that we put things in throughout the day and a ton of plastic kid plates. I a, planning on getting rid of the kid plates though and buying some plane sandwich ones (we only have 2). My youngest is 2 now and I don't think we need 15-20 plastic kid plates.

I would do the only 1 per person but we have a friend over for dinner At least 1x a week and I do not want to buy that many paper plates.

[mrspopo]

I'm just baffled by the having hardly any dishes thing. That family rarely cooks, and the kids fend for themselves. So I guess that makes sense.

We do have a dishwasher but DH is ridiculously picky about washing them. He thoroughly scrubs and washes each item before putting it in, and it's sparsely full. I could easily fit triple the dishes in there. He likes to have it so every cup/bowl etc is perfectly flat and not touching anything else. Drives me crazy, but since I don't do them it's not my place to complain. He likes to remind me about when I put a cooking sheet in without washing it first and everything came out covered in fishstick bread crumbs. If he didn't wash them so thoroughly they'd all come out dirty like that.

[pumkinsmommy]

While I am trying to cut down on everything, I do like to have enough dishes and silverware to last. I have about 24 pieces of each eating utensil. If you want to do dishes every other day, then you should have enough to last that span of time.

[Melinda29]

Originally Posted by mrspopo I'm just baffled by the having hardly any dishes thing. That family rarely cooks, and the kids fend for themselves. So I guess that makes sense. We do have a dishwasher but DH is ridiculously picky about washing them. He thoroughly scrubs and washes each item before putting it in, and it's sparsely full. I could easily fit triple the dishes in there. He likes to have it so every cup/bowl etc is perfectly flat and not touching anything else. Drives me crazy, but since I don't do them it's not my place to complain. He likes to remind me about when I put a cooking sheet in without washing it first and everything came out covered in fishstick bread crumbs. If he didn't wash them so thoroughly they'd all come out dirty like that.

If they are coming out dirty, then he is using too much soap or rinse agent, or your water is too soft, or both. We used to live in a place with naturally soft water and thought the dishwasher sucked. Turned out we just had to halve the amount of soap and stop using Jet Dry.

If you have a water softener, try to dial it down. What you are describing is a good indicator of water too soft, or waaaaaaaay too much soap.

Try Finish tabs for your dishwasher. Seriously, I can put a dirty lasagna pan in there without rinsing and it comes out spotless! But again, don't use a rinse agent with them unless you have uber-hard water.