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Old 07-11-2012, 08:33 PM   #1
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Baby is here.

Wow - what a wild ride. I am so wiped out. Got a text yesterday morning - in labor. Jumped in my van to take BM to hospital, stopped to pick up my Mom to stay with her girls at their house. Half way there had to call 911. I live about 25 min away (plus five min to grab mom) and I thought she was gonna deliver before we got there. Fire and rescue ran in, grabbed her, left the girls on the couch, took her to hospital. Baby delivered as they are transferring her from guerney to bed. I get to her house ten minutes later. Shocked that they just left the kids in their alone. Left them my mommy, got to hospital a few minutes after delivery. Baby cried once then stopped breathing. Started again with a plastic dish over her head. Went to NICU and been breathing on her own since. Also had low blood sugar so started on IV. BM is a wreck but eventually hosp social worker sees her and they call our adoption worker who comes and meets with them in the afternoon and begins paperwork and process. Everyone is very nice to me, but I really don't have any right to be there/do or know anything except as her "friend". Finally after some of the hubub dies down they get permission for me to wear the other wristband and be in with baby in NICU. After BM decides she doesn't have any other choice I have my mom take her girls to a friend of mine who will keep them overnight (my mom had to go to work). A long, long day. This morning everything came crashing down with positive toxicology results. Hosp soc worker filed CPS report. I thought it was gonna go really bad. Exact same story as when my 3 yr old was born. Took about 12 hours from birth before state worker was there putting all three of her kids in custody. Our worker came back and got a lot more paperwork done. Now I have medical release to know babies info. Dr said she could go home so I picked up her girls, brought them to hospital. They got to hold baby, I took pics, etc. and I took them all home. All this time I'm thinking it's going to blow up. CPS is gonna get there and I should've just left the girls with my friend so they wouldn't have to be there, etc. (She used to be a foster parent although her license is expired but she would have kept them as long as necessary.) But, at the same time I just want to be out of the way and not a part of it when it happens. We were really, really praying that the baby would be allowed to stay in the agency's custody rather than state. They did not separate in my 3 year old's case. But, our worker thought there was a really good chance they would this time. This afternoon she calls me to say that CPS closed the case!! They are not going to investigate because baby is not going home with mom!!! They do not have evidence that the illegal substance use is negatively impacting (abuse/neglect) the children in the home. My husband is livid because for almost four years our relationship with her (which is that of birthmom to our daughter) has been based on the understanding that she has been clean since treatment at that time. So that's a whole other ballgame that we will have to deal with later. So really, really good news for baby - she will go on with adoption through the agency. But, good news or bad news for the other girls. I have no clue what would be best for them. Baby did have some withdrawal symptoms last night/this morning but was doing better throughout the day today. But, they still think they will keep her for watching for several more days. It is so hard with her there and my other three half an hour across town. My little guy (16mo) is sick, too and having a really hard time without Mommy. Also they won't let me nurse or give her my milk in her bottles. There legal department won't clear that even though BM gave permission. I understand the liability, but still It's so hard for me to be there and not be able to nurse her. They are letting me use the hospital pump though. So yeah, finally came home this evening to spend some time with my three little ones here and Go To Bed! Don't know how much of that made sense, but it's been Crazy.
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Old 07-11-2012, 08:38 PM   #2
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Wow that sounds like a crazy time!

Congrats on your new bundle.

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Old 07-11-2012, 08:45 PM   #3
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Re: Baby is here.

Congrats on new baby. Wow! Hugs to you.
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Old 07-11-2012, 09:09 PM   #4
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Re: Baby is here.

Wow, what a crazy story! I'm so happy and excited for you. Hope baby girl continues to do well. Congrat's to everyone.

You may be able to buy a pump as part of the adoption expenses/tax credit. We bough one for our son't birth mom and claimed it under medical (but this was before all the audits) and to us it was a legit medical expense as she requested one (she offered to rent but we were worried if they'd return it so it was easier to go to Walmart and buy her the most expensive hoping it was the "best."

Keep us updated!
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Old 07-11-2012, 11:50 PM   #5
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Re: Baby is here.

Congrats! What a roller coaster. I'm really curious about what substance this is since I have had experience of two babies withdrawing from two different drugs before. Can PM me sometime whenever you have a sec, haha. Here they will let a baby who tests positive go through a private agency to be adopted, but if the mom changes her mind, the agency legally has to call the county and they often take custody then. Happened in the last year to my mom's friend's foster baby. You should be fine since mom has no interest in parenting. I'm so sad she hasn't been able to stay clean though. Especially for her older girls

Keep us updated!
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Old 07-12-2012, 03:26 PM   #6
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Re: Baby is here.

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Originally Posted by WynneBabies View Post
Congrats! What a roller coaster. I'm really curious about what substance this is since I have had experience of two babies withdrawing from two different drugs before. Can PM me sometime whenever you have a sec, haha. Here they will let a baby who tests positive go through a private agency to be adopted, but if the mom changes her mind, the agency legally has to call the county and they often take custody then. Happened in the last year to my mom's friend's foster baby. You should be fine since mom has no interest in parenting. I'm so sad she hasn't been able to stay clean though. Especially for her older girls

Keep us updated!
Yes, this. If she were to want baby back our worker has to report to CPS. Yet, they didn't say they would take custody; they said they would do a well baby check. Just so totally different from the last time around. Seems bizarre that they didn't take the other girls into custody. How can using illegal substances NOT impact them harmfully And then last time they took all three and did not leave the baby in agency's custody. So, whatever I guess. Her 10 year old is sad about baby not going home with them so that's hard. My girls got the ok to visit today. Since they are not legal siblings NICU policy is 13 and over unless siblings they were not allowed before. They are just in LOVE with her. May not have been the best decision to let them see her yet; I don't know. Cuz if she changes her mind now I will KILL her for breaking my babies hearts. But, consents won't be signed before baby comes home to us no matter what so I didn't see that it mattered. My 3 year old was ready to get out of there but when we were leaving she said, "But, we can't leave ____ here by herself" I know the nurses take really good care of her, but it's so hard for me to not stay there. When my son was in the NICU last year from age 5-10 days old I basically did not leave the hospital. I slept in his room and was there for every diaper, feeding, procedure, etc. This time I have a 1 year old at home and there is no couch in the NICU room and no meal pass (different hospital). Today the Dr said that the only reason she is still there basically is because common pattern is to have no withdrawal symptoms until a few days old and then they can still be pretty bad even seizures, etc. so they want to watch her some more. Any comments, experience on withdrawals? Baby's tox report is not back yet and I do not have right to BM's medicals, but her drug of choice for years is meth.
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Old 07-12-2012, 03:47 PM   #7
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Re: Baby is here.

Congratulations!

We got a baby from the hospital the day she was born a few years back. Mom tested + for meth. The baby had the shakes a little bit, that was all. She loved to be swaddled a LOT! She had a bit of sensitivity to formula, I don't know if it was connected to the drugs or not.

I hope that you get to bring her home soon & don't have too much more drama!
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Old 07-12-2012, 12:36 AM   #8
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Re: Baby is here.

WOW what a roller coster! I'm so excited for you though! Said a quick prayer for ALL of you
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Old 07-12-2012, 08:18 AM   #9
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Re: Baby is here.

Ahhhh how did i miss this?!?! Im so glad baby is here and sounds like relatively safe. So sad bm couldnt stay clean. Hugs to you!
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Old 07-12-2012, 08:37 AM   #10
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Re: Baby is here.

Congratulations on your newbie!
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