Affairs (Physical and emotional)

[Dillysmum]

So we talked about seperating and divorcing. My husband has had a physical affair and i just recently found out about an emotional affair. Might have turn physical had i not found out, I dont know.....

Any way, how have you dealt with this? Did you decide to split? My husband doesnt want to talk about anything that concerns us. When i bring anything up that bothers me he says im nagging. Ihave told him i want this marriage. I want to stay together but we HAVE to talk about this! If not we will divorce. Im not living this way. His response"At least if we divorce I wont have to hear you talk about talking" Seriously???? So im confused.....Im a SAHMwith no income and no family and a husband who i dont think really loves me. I honestlt feel he wants a divorce but doesnt want to be the one to ask for it. To be honest, Im starting to feel as I want one too. Just to be done....

What would you do?....

[EuphoricDysphoria]

Leave. For a marriage to work, both parties need to be on board. He sounds like he's checked out. No sense in living your life always trying to get his attention.

[Dillysmum]

Also, please don't judge! I was one who was never getting a divorce and my husband felt the same way. We always said that if things were to get bad we'd fix them. He has obviously changed his heart... I want him be part of our marriage but he doesn't want to. I can only do so much for us on my own.

I know I'm not the only wife and mother that has gone through this.....
How do you cope?

[JeDeeLenae]

Originally Posted by EuphoricDysphoria Leave. For a marriage to work, both parties need to be on board. He sounds like he's checked out. No sense in living your life always trying to get his attention.

I agree. He doesn't sounds like he really cares one way or another, and that doesn't make for a good marriage either.

[EuphoricDysphoria]

I really hope you get some more responses

I'd say try talking to him but he's so bloody disrespectful to you.

Honestly, you can't make him want to do anything. I'm someone who is all for no divorce either. But at the end of the day if one party wants out, you can't control it.

[keen1981]

Originally Posted by Dillysmum So we talked about seperating and divorcing. My husband has had a physical affair and i just recently found out about an emotional affair. Might have turn physical had i not found out, I dont know..... Any way, how have you dealt with this? Did you decide to split? My husband doesnt want to talk about anything that concerns us. When i bring anything up that bothers me he says im nagging. Ihave told him i want this marriage. I want to stay together but we HAVE to talk about this! If not we will divorce. Im not living this way. His response"At least if we divorce I wont have to hear you talk about talking" Seriously???? So im confused.....Im a SAHMwith no income and no family and a husband who i dont think really loves me. I honestlt feel he wants a divorce but doesnt want to be the one to ask for it. To be honest, Im starting to feel as I want one too. Just to be done.... What would you do?....

Honest? Doesn't sound like he is committed to the marriage or to you

[thealmightyme]

Originally Posted by keen1981 Honest? Doesn't sound like he is committed to the marriage or to you

I agree. Time to get an income.

[ittybittycoconuts]

Time to call the family law facilitator and start some divorce papers. He obviously doesnt care and you deserve to show your kids what it is to be in a healthy relationship so they dont grow up thinking this is how you treat the ones you love.

[TaraB]

ask him to attend counseling for the purpose of strengthening/saving your marriage. Personally I would do everything in my power to fight for the marriage and I would pray for DH's heart to soften and to have a desire to address the situation. However, everyone has free will and you cant force someone to fight for their marriage (ie your dh). If he choses to leave try to work on the healthiest divorce for the kids.

[dancingingrace]

Originally Posted by TaraB ask him to attend counseling for the purpose of strengthening/saving your marriage. Personally I would do everything in my power to fight for the marriage and I would pray for DH's heart to soften and to have a desire to address the situation. However, everyone has free will and you cant force someone to fight for their marriage (ie your dh). If he choses to leave try to work on the healthiest divorce for the kids.

This. , mama....I know how tough it can be when things are going wrong. As terrible as it may be right now, IF you can get things worked out via counseling, it will be so worth it in the end, promise!!! If he wants no parts of it, DO pray, but don't beat yourself up. You're only one half of the team, you can't carry it all.