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Old 08-08-2012, 01:00 AM   #1
Luna Lair
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Unhappy New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

A little back story. I got together with my soon-to-be ex a few years back (2006). He had a son from a previous marriage and we got pregnant very quickly. We had our first, things were great, loving family, everyone was happy. We had the best relationship and a perfect little girl, and a sweet boy on the weekends. Add in a wedding a year later, then baby number two a year after that......

Now insert his demise as a father, provider, and all around person. He decided other extra curricular activities were more important than his 3 kids and wife. I couldn't take it anymore and when my son was not even a month old, I gathered my kids and belongings, said a massively sad and heartbreaking goodbye to my step son (who's mother is more than happy we are 3,000 miles away now) who I miss dearly and deeply every day. He was only 13 months when my ex and I got together and he is almost 7 now.

The kids and I have been separated for a little over a year now and he has yet to call either of his kids on their birthdays and has made no effort to come visit them. He has moved and now has a girlfriend who isn't even old enough to be in a bar. He has yet to send me a penny in child support and I have had to file for enforcement from his state as well as mine.

Now to me. I have been really strong but the past few months (since March) I have been overly sad, depressed, lonely, and have had massive panic attacks. I guess I just needed a place to let it all out. This has affected my kids and my heart so badly. I have tried to go out on dates and just can't seem to shake off the sadness. It really has taken its toll on every aspect of my life. I work 2 jobs and take care of two kids all by myself.

Anyway, sorry to rant and go on like that, just thought that I should let some of this out and see if talking about it will help.
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Old 08-08-2012, 01:39 AM   #2
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

wow mama you have been through alot.It truly shows how strong you are. Keep faith in GOD,When times get tough for me I knew I always had a place in church to feel loved and welcome <3 Its gonna take some time and the journey youre on is going to lead you to someone god already has planned out for you.Everything happens for a reason...sometimes..even if that reason doesnt make sense.. hugsXXX
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Old 08-08-2012, 04:50 AM   #3
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You sound so strong, do you have a support system?
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Old 08-08-2012, 12:16 PM   #4
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Sorry your ex treated you that way!
Hope you find peace in your new life soon!

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Old 08-08-2012, 12:20 PM   #5
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

I'm so sorry! I met my best friend when she was married and her youngest was 6 months old. It went downhill from there and her husband cheated on her several times and she finally left with the three kids. He moved across the country and she had a similar problem with child support, but the court finally got involved and now she is getting money. I hope that you figure that stuff out; it's terrible what he's done to you.
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Old 08-08-2012, 12:22 PM   #6
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

All of my friends live on an opposite coast as me, my parents are here but I never ever really got along with my Mom, EVER. And my Dad does talk to me but he is gone a lot on business trips. My kids are all that keeps me waking up in the morning lately. I went on a few dates with one guy who had a daughter just days apart from my daughter but he lived too far and was too busy for us I make anything work. I know my kids are my main focus but I know them having a happy mommy will make it better and a father figure in their lives is very important to me.

The worst of it all is their dad is in constant contact with his other son. Picked him up for the whole summer, calls, goes to visit when it's not his visitation time and yet I have yet I hear one word from him. My daughter has had two birthdays and my son his first birthday, away from him and not once did he call.

He blocked and deleted me on Facebook one day, a day after talking to me on the phone, and change his profile from married to in a relationship and that was that. I told him we weren't "over" when I moved, he just needed to work out his priorities and we'd have our family back.... Guess just this part of his family wasn't that important to him....
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:16 AM   #7
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

I year isn't very long after losing a marriage, I wouldn't be too concerned with dating. Take the time to learn to love YOU, and your kids, and you will know it when you are ready. Mourn, realize that it's okay to be sad and down, and see things for what they really are. You did what you could, he is the one who owns the guilt, not you.
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Old 08-12-2012, 11:53 AM   #8
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

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Old 08-14-2012, 01:28 PM   #9
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

*hugs* I couldn't read & not say something. You are SO strong.
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Old 08-14-2012, 01:28 PM   #10
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Re: New to the "non traditional" world and soooo sad!

*hugs* I couldn't read & not say something. You are SO strong.
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