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Old 08-23-2012, 02:41 PM   #1
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Differnces between parents' homes

How do you deal with major differences between you and your child's other parent's homes? Me and X have vastly different ways of life- he sits ds in front of a tv or his leapster the entire time he's there, and I don't do tv and the Leapster here is only for long car rides. He feeds him nothing but Macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets and cereal, and I cook real food. I can't say any other differences, because those are the only things ds talks about doing, and by his dad's own admission that's about all he does. We have a Wii, which hasn't been played in a week or so (I'm trying to wean him off of it) and when we took a look at it, it won't turn on.
So I have a broken Wii, which I was going to sell, a ds that has been screaming for over an hour about wanting to be with his dad cuz he can watch tv and eat cheese (he's sensitive to dairy, btw), and I've shut myself in my room to count to 100 or so and figure out how to handle this.

What do you do in these situations?
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:46 PM   #2
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Re: Differnces between parents' homes

My kids have adapted pretty well. And we have very different households. Ex-h is Chinese so they speak a different language while there and eat ethnic foods. I know ex-h lets them watch movies most of the day, and he is a lot stricter in terms of discipline. I'm pretty sure he makes them go to bed earlier, too.

But, somehow, they do okay with the differences. They see him about every other weekend for 2 nights and 2 days. Sometimes they do say they want to go there because they want to do XYZ, and I just remind them that they will be going there soon.
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:51 PM   #3
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Re: Differnces between parents' homes

I have a bonus child who more recently has spent far more time at school and with his mother. Our home and her home could NOT be any different. He just turned 6yo and for the most part he just realizes that this is our home and when he is at this home(since he is lucky enough to have 2) that we do things a certain way. Don't get me wrong he has gotten a little irritated because we don't drink koolaid and soda all day. But thems the breaks kid. Are you able to talk to his father at all? I think it is important to have appropriate expectations. As hard as that is. If the child is safe, fed, and having their hygiene needs met you have to just let it go
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Old 08-23-2012, 04:12 PM   #4
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Re: Differnces between parents' homes

Quote:
Originally Posted by MDever View Post
I have a bonus child who more recently has spent far more time at school and with his mother. Our home and her home could NOT be any different. He just turned 6yo and for the most part he just realizes that this is our home and when he is at this home(since he is lucky enough to have 2) that we do things a certain way. Don't get me wrong he has gotten a little irritated because we don't drink koolaid and soda all day. But thems the breaks kid. Are you able to talk to his father at all? I think it is important to have appropriate expectations. As hard as that is. If the child is safe, fed, and having their hygiene needs met you have to just let it go
Yes, his father and I are on speaking terms, and get along fairly well, I think. I know that's just how it is going to be, I'm just not sure how to handle it with ds. Even worse, when I offer to let his dad have him extra time, it's always a no. He doesn't want holidays or split vacation times, and if ds has anything to do on his weekends, he'll just give up the visit and doesn't want to make up the time.
It's hard on a little boy, and in turn, hard on me.
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Old 08-24-2012, 01:08 PM   #5
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Re: Differnces between parents' homes

I'd take a very neutral attitude anytime he brings up what he wants to be doing that he coudl do at his dads. I also let him know when he is going there and try to redirect to something else.

Sometimes I will acknowledge that it sounds like fun there but I usually just do that for things I approve of.
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