Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-05-2012, 07:57 PM   #1
Geckmumto3's Avatar
Geckmumto3
Registered Users
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: S. Ontario
Posts: 5,173
My Mood:
Question for the Non-Santa Crew

<---- starting with that guy because this is not judging anyone. I am genuinely curious, so if both Santa and Non-Santa people can be nice, it would be appreciated.

I am always interested in the Santa threads, because, like anything else in this parenthood gig, it is really interesting for me to try to understand the perspective of others. I love to people watch, so I guess reading the "hot button" topics on parenting forums is a version of people watching.

The one thing that always intrigues me is the comment that people want their kids to know that the presents come from their parents versus coming from Santa. I don't understand this and I want to try. I don't want to get into it too much. I worry that anything I type here might be taken wrong, and I mean no disrespect, in any way. I am honestly trying to understand. Do Santa or don't do Santa, own it, but please, appease my curiosity.

Why is it important to you, as a parent, to get the credit for the presents?

__________________
Kat ~ Mum to G (11), D (9) and O (7)
Geckmumto3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2012, 08:03 PM   #2
HeatherlovesCDs
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 10,081
My Mood:
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

This is not why we don't do Santa. However, I think from the perspective of wanting "credit" for the presents, it would be because you want your children to understand that you work for the things they get. They don't come from some outside source and they aren't free. Dad and/or mom have to actually work to make money to buy these things. It's about understanding and appreciating the value of where they actually do come from....hard work and sacrifice.

As I said, this isn't why we don't do Santa, but that is what I would think.
__________________
Heather SAHM to 6 who are 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins and our last little miracle, a surviving identical twin, born Oct 2012!
HeatherlovesCDs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2012, 08:07 PM   #3
Geckmumto3's Avatar
Geckmumto3
Registered Users
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: S. Ontario
Posts: 5,173
My Mood:
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs View Post
This is not why we don't do Santa. However, I think from the perspective of wanting "credit" for the presents, it would be because you want your children to understand that you work for the things they get. They don't come from some outside source and they aren't free. Dad and/or mom have to actually work to make money to buy these things. It's about understanding and appreciating the value of where they actually do come from....hard work and sacrifice.

As I said, this isn't why we don't do Santa, but that is what I would think.
That is a good point. Thanks!
__________________
Kat ~ Mum to G (11), D (9) and O (7)
Geckmumto3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2012, 08:29 PM   #4
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs
This is not why we don't do Santa. However, I think from the perspective of wanting "credit" for the presents, it would be because you want your children to understand that you work for the things they get. They don't come from some outside source and they aren't free. Dad and/or mom have to actually work to make money to buy these things. It's about understanding and appreciating the value of where they actually do come from....hard work and sacrifice.

As I said, this isn't why we don't do Santa, but that is what I would think.
This.

I don't do Santa because he's not 'the reason for the season'. And because I don't do character things.

But as for credit, I guess I would agree with the quoted.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2012, 09:29 PM   #5
ajane's Avatar
ajane
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 16,107
My Mood:
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange View Post
This.

I don't do Santa because he's not 'the reason for the season'. And because I don't do character things.

But as for credit, I guess I would agree with the quoted.
He is apart of the season though. And, just b/c it is to celebrate Jesus' birth doesn't mean you have to focus on only one part of the season.
__________________
sahm to 3 little women and 1 little man who keep me extremely busy and take all of my time away from here!
I have LOTS of toys to sell....My Little Pony, Fisher Price ramp & speedway, Littlest Pet Shop, you name it I probably have it! PM me!
ajane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2012, 09:51 PM   #6
EmilytheStrange's Avatar
EmilytheStrange
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Mountain Home, ID
Posts: 7,418
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajane

He is apart of the season though. And, just b/c it is to celebrate Jesus' birth doesn't mean you have to focus on only one part of the season.
I'm not opposed to the stories of St Nicholas. Throw out some stockings, fill with fruit, nuts and trinkets. But I have never liked Santa. Even as a kid.

I'm also not opposed to teaching about Hanukkah even though we don't celebrate it.

But the idea that Santa exists to bring presents to kids? Nope. Not that version of commercialism.

I can't explain why I don't like Santa. I just don't. My parents never did it, I vaguely remember episodes with Santa for other kids, but never remember believing or wanting to.

But anyways, don't want to derail this thread which is not a debate about Santa or not, but about credit for gifts being a reason that other people have given for their anti-Santa stance.
__________________
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.
EmilytheStrange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2012, 05:32 AM   #7
Geckmumto3's Avatar
Geckmumto3
Registered Users
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: S. Ontario
Posts: 5,173
My Mood:
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Thanks everyone, again, for your thoughts. I started multiquoting, and could quote everyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajane View Post
Good question, OP! I always seem by it.

But, you can teach them that the other 364 days a year. Believe me, my kids know very well that things aren't free and that dh works very hard for us to have what we have. Why is it that kids can't be kids and live in the magic of things for 1 day. I'm sorry, it just seems selfish to me.
This is kind of how we feel, too, which is why I wondered. Don't we all love that feeling of special-ness, that someone might give us something frivolous, expecting nothing in return? As much as I want my kids to be grateful and appreciate what they have, I also want them to feel that moment of special.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
we dont celebrate xmas anyway but we did the first 2 years after ds1 was born. x was very passionate about not doing santa or any other mythical gift giving character. he felt very deceived when he found out he had been lied to all those years about santa. he did not want to do that to his kids as well. and i personally dont like the way most parents use santa as a way to get good behavior from their children. ive heard so many say "you need to be good if you want santa to bring you something this year" the whole santa thing never appealed to me. as a child i was very skeptical and knew that something was going on around age 5.
I also dislike this. We don't do this, but we know people who do. The story of your x is why my BIL doesn't do Santa. He felt deceived by his parents as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
I think it's less about credit and more about deception for a lot of people. Technically speaking Santa is kind of a lie. . I also think some people reject it on religious or anti-commercialism grounds.
I agree, many people don't do Santa because of the implied deception (see above) or for religious reasons. But, I have noticed some people specifically saying they want the credit. Thus the thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jen_batten View Post
Both of these. (although we do celebrate holidays) I have several reasons why we don't celebrate Santa and this is just a tiny one. But I do want the kids to know that those items have value and that someone who loves you worked very hard so that you could have it. Not that some fake-person delivered this to you because that's what he does. And you won't get any flames from me, OP. An honest question isn't a bad thing and shouldn't draw flames! (But of course on DS, it might!)
Thanks! I know DS has its drama, but it is one of the better boards I have found for actually having reasonable discussions (sometimes ).
__________________
Kat ~ Mum to G (11), D (9) and O (7)

Last edited by Geckmumto3; 10-06-2012 at 05:33 AM.
Geckmumto3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-06-2012, 04:43 PM   #8
bluedaisyma's Avatar
bluedaisyma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 8,721
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs View Post
This is not why we don't do Santa. However, I think from the perspective of wanting "credit" for the presents, it would be because you want your children to understand that you work for the things they get. They don't come from some outside source and they aren't free. Dad and/or mom have to actually work to make money to buy these things. It's about understanding and appreciating the value of where they actually do come from....hard work and sacrifice.

As I said, this isn't why we don't do Santa, but that is what I would think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RainandRedemption View Post
For me it's not so much about getting credit for the presents... it's just that I don't understand telling my kids a big fabricated story about where the presents came from. I'm big on telling my kids the facts, and answering questions as thoroughly and honestly as I know how. Like I said i nthe other thread, I believe that there is enough magic in real life, I don't think we need to go looking for pretend magic to indulge in. Also, with Santa, the magic dies as they grow older. I want my kids to find the magic in life that continues past childhood and never dies.

I DO like pretend, and games, and such. I don't like the "story" or "game" of Santa so much because to me it seems like the Santa thing is more about commercialism than the magic. Why is the promise of STUFF a valid reward for "good" behavior. And how can you say the behavior is GOOD anyway when it's only driven by fear of being left out of the fun on Christmas morning?

While that isn't true for every family, it is for mine. "We'll, if you're acting like that maybe Santa won't come" or "uh oh do I need to make a call to santa?" or "I hope Santa's not watching". This type of manipulation and more I heard while growing up from family members. When my kids hear this I don't want them to feel all the things I felt then. I want them to raise an eyebrow and say...... "are you serious?"
these
__________________
Jul, This used to be a great place
bluedaisyma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 06:11 AM   #9
Melaine's Avatar
Melaine
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,581
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Haven't read any of the comments, but we are middle-ground with Santa. We talk about him as a fun holiday character, like rudolph or frosty. I have no problem with having Santa toys or decorations and we love reading The Night Before Christmas, singing songs about Santa, etc. We could even write letters to Santa, I am fine with that. Heck, we might do Elf on the Shelf if I find a cheap one. But my kids know that Santa is not real and that the gifts come from us. There are several reasons, the first being that I don't want Santa to take over the place that Jesus should have in the holiday. The other reason is that I just am not comfortable with telling them something that isn't true. I realized that when I was a nanny and the little girls asked me questions about Santa. I was very uncomfortable to have to tell any half-truths to her, because she had learned to trust me. So I knew way before I had kids that we would never "do Santa" to the full extent that some do.

As far as wanting the kids to know the gifts come from us, I get this too. My perspective on this is that, first of all, there is a huge disparity in gifts between children. HUGE. Should my kids think that they are getting $50 worth of gifts when a friend is getting $500, is it because the friend was more "good" all year? I think kids can grasp the concept of priorities, finances, and circumstances better than trying to wrap their head's around the concept that Santa isn't fair.

The second reason is, I think it's important for children to realize that our providing for them is a labor of love. DH works very, very hard for the money to provide for their needs and many wants. I work very, very hard to give them a nice life at home and to make the holiday special. It's not so much that I want to get "credit" more that I want them to have the gift of feeling how much they are loved at a special time of year. For me, I think gifts are a primary love language of mine so it's important for me to be able to express love that way.
__________________
Homeschooling mama to 6 year old twin girls and their sweet baby brother

Totally new to cloth, so any advice and info is much appreciated!
Melaine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-08-2012, 06:26 AM   #10
ajane's Avatar
ajane
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 16,107
My Mood:
Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melaine View Post
Haven't read any of the comments, but we are middle-ground with Santa. We talk about him as a fun holiday character, like rudolph or frosty. I have no problem with having Santa toys or decorations and we love reading The Night Before Christmas, singing songs about Santa, etc. We could even write letters to Santa, I am fine with that. Heck, we might do Elf on the Shelf if I find a cheap one. But my kids know that Santa is not real and that the gifts come from us. There are several reasons, the first being that I don't want Santa to take over the place that Jesus should have in the holiday. The other reason is that I just am not comfortable with telling them something that isn't true. I realized that when I was a nanny and the little girls asked me questions about Santa. I was very uncomfortable to have to tell any half-truths to her, because she had learned to trust me. So I knew way before I had kids that we would never "do Santa" to the full extent that some do.

As far as wanting the kids to know the gifts come from us, I get this too. My perspective on this is that, first of all, there is a huge disparity in gifts between children. HUGE. Should my kids think that they are getting $50 worth of gifts when a friend is getting $500, is it because the friend was more "good" all year? I think kids can grasp the concept of priorities, finances, and circumstances better than trying to wrap their head's around the concept that Santa isn't fair.

The second reason is, I think it's important for children to realize that our providing for them is a labor of love. DH works very, very hard for the money to provide for their needs and many wants. I work very, very hard to give them a nice life at home and to make the holiday special. It's not so much that I want to get "credit" more that I want them to have the gift of feeling how much they are loved at a special time of year. For me, I think gifts are a primary love language of mine so it's important for me to be able to express love that way.
1st bolded, just b/c you [general] "do" Santa, does NOT mean he will take the place of Jesus or become more important than him. He is just another aspect of the seasosn.

When our kids ask questions about Santa, we ask them what they think or what they believe. If they ask us if he is real we never say yes. We let them think about it and decide for themselves. If they ask how he can get to all the houses in one night we tell them about the different time zones, etc.

Just b/c we let them believe in Santa does NOT mean they don't have trust in us. We create trust by being very communicative with them, being there to listen to them, and not promising something we can't follow through with.

The last bolded, I don't think provided for them means they should feel it is a labor of love. You had them and wanted them, then you SHOULD provide for them in the absolut best possible way no matter what. Not b/c they need to realize it is a labor of love. We also work very hard providing for them and making the holiday's special, it has nothing to do with them believing in Santa. They can still believe and understand how hard we work for them. And, they def. feel the love around the holiday's.
__________________
sahm to 3 little women and 1 little man who keep me extremely busy and take all of my time away from here!
I have LOTS of toys to sell....My Little Pony, Fisher Price ramp & speedway, Littlest Pet Shop, you name it I probably have it! PM me!
ajane is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.