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Old 10-07-2012, 09:53 AM   #1
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Will this ever happen?

DS is 3y7m. He understands the concept of the potty and what's supposed to happen with it. He goes to the bathroom with me every time I do, and has even pottied in the potty a few times since I bought the thing when he was 18 months old. However, he is refusing to go potty in the potty with any regularity. He says "No, I'll just go in my diaper."

He HATES being naked. If I take his diaper off, he will just lay there. And if I don't put another one on, he becomes hysterical (I tried putting on underwear, or doing the whole letting him go naked thing, and both have been met with crazy, irrational screaming fits).

I've had to go back to work recently, and while I would prefer he use cloth diapers, I can't really require my 72yo FIL use them since DS will pee/poo in a diaper until it almost explodes, and FIL doesn't always catch when DS needs a change. Also, DS is eventually going to have to go into preschool/daycare once I start working full time, and most in this area require kids his age and older to be potty trained.

I try not to be frustrated and to tell myself that he's only 3, and there is still time for this, but it's so hard when he looks me straight in the face and says "I'm not going to use the potty. I prefer to pee in my diaper." (Yes, he says it just like that).

My FIL wants DS potty trained, but if I don't give him some kind of method to follow, I'm afraid he'll go about it all wrong and make things worse (he spends most of the day with DS, so he would be doing most of the training, and since his youngest is 36yo and he had no hand in potty training the first time around anyway, I'm afraid he has no background in this).

How do I address potty training with a child that understands what he is supposed to do and absolutely refuses to do it? Am I doomed to have to wait this out? What if he's 5 and about to go to school and still says "I'd rather go in my diaper."
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Old 10-08-2012, 12:53 PM   #2
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We are in a similar situation. My DS is 3 years 1 month. He routinely stays dry all day at home or school but will NOT poop in the potty, even though he understands it and will talk to you about it.

One thing that has cut down on pee accidents is that I bought him a little Potty Time "wrist watch" ($10 at Babies R Us). You can set it to go off every 30, 60, or 90 minutes, when it plays a song & flashes lights. So ours plays every 90 minutes, and then I can say, "Oh your watch is playing, let's go potty!" I feel like it gives him some ownership in the process.

Now if he would only poop in the potty, we'd be done!
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Old 10-08-2012, 01:02 PM   #3
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Re: Will this ever happen?

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Old 10-08-2012, 02:39 PM   #4
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Re: Will this ever happen?

does he have any friends his age or maybe a lil older that can show himhow the big kids go onthe potty or can you show him a tiny baby in a diaper and tell him how ou would like him to be a big boy like his friend and let hm know he is not a baby any more.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:44 PM   #5
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Re: Will this ever happen?

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does he have any friends his age or maybe a lil older that can show himhow the big kids go onthe potty or can you show him a tiny baby in a diaper and tell him how ou would like him to be a big boy like his friend and let hm know he is not a baby any more.
He doesn't have any friends except his cousins that are all younger than he is. Besides, he knows what to do, he just doesn't want to do it. I've told him that big boys go in the potty, etc, and he says "I don't want to be a big boy. I want to pee and poop in my diaper."
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:07 PM   #6
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Re: Will this ever happen?

My daughter finally realized no one wanted to be around her, rewards, & a need to go on potty to go to school. We were told try cheering when he goes on potty instead. We moved as well in our journey. I also tried to see how long b4 had to pee so I could try to help get to potty.
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Old 10-09-2012, 08:58 AM   #7
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Re: Will this ever happen?

We are just starting the potty training process with my DD, but went through this with my son, who is now almost 7. Just keep at it, it will happen. When he was also 3, he was the same way. He knew what he was supposed to do, but refused. I think age 4 was our magic number. You may have to wait it out, but I am betting he will be on board before kindergarten!
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:23 PM   #8
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Re: Will this ever happen?

Just an idea for you working people. My friend was 4mos along with her DD when she decided to PT her 2y old DS since she didnt want to have to deal with 2 in dipes. She worked extra/completely avoided taking any offs fm work and took a 1wk holiday to focus on PTing her son. She took him off of daycare and kept him at home.

She didnt find much success, BUT her husband did. They'd a relay sort of thing going on, wherein he combined 2days of his leave with some long weekend ( I think it was labor day) assuming that his PTing would take 10 days. By day 8, under his dad's care, he was totally free of accidents and has been since then.

Another idea is to NOT PT during the winter,because we all just pee so much more due to the cold. Summers are ideal for PTing.
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Old 10-09-2012, 02:42 PM   #9
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Re: Will this ever happen?

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Originally Posted by IsaacsMom2009 View Post
DS is 3y7m. He says "No, I'll just go in my diaper."

He HATES being naked. If I take his diaper off, he will just lay there. And if I don't put another one on, he becomes hysterical (I tried putting on underwear, or doing the whole letting him go naked thing, and both have been met with crazy, irrational screaming fits).

I try not to be frustrated and to tell myself that he's only 3, and there is still time for this, but it's so hard when he looks me straight in the face and says "I'm not going to use the potty. I prefer to pee in my diaper." (Yes, he says it just like that).
I guess at 3.7y, he's old enough to understand...he's just being stubborn with a bit of laziness thrown in.

Could you explain to him how expensive dipes are? Play the pity card that mama has to work hard for it/that the money for his sposies can buy you lots of food-his favorite food?

Tell him that for every dipe he saves, he'll get that much to put in a piggy bank and he can buy whatever he wants with it?

Does he like the idea of going to school? Has he been told (reminded again and again) that kids who go to school need to be only in undies?
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Old 10-21-2012, 09:47 AM   #10
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We found that DS thought it was fun to pee outside. So if we didn't have visitors he could go on the grass or under the tomato plants. His grandma thought it was good for her veggie garden too. Perhaps your FIL would be willing to do this. Pee is a good nitrogen source . Then my DS wanted underwear with the pee hole to make it easy to go on the grass and potty too.
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