I need help with my toddler

[starfairy1980]

My sitter and I are both worried about my son. He’s been very clingy the last few weeks. Poor kid has had a lot of change in the last month or so.

His father and I reside in the same home, but are not together. This has been our living situation since our son was born. Niether of us wanted to miss out on anything, so we kept it civil, and live under the same roof.

I was seeing and was in love with someone else. We broke up, and I was devastated. As much as I tried to keep it together for my son, I couldn’t and I’d openly cry in front of him sometimes. Sometimes I’d try to hide in the bathroom, or cry in the shower, but he’d always find me. This happened about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Since then, I’ve managed to pull it together for my son. His dada has been extremely supportive during this time. I’ve been trying to give my son as much undivided one on one time as possible, as has his father. My son never met the person I was seeing, so he isn’t upset about not seeing my exb/f. He has been extremely clingy. We can’t leave the room with out him crying. His father can’t take the trash out without a full on sobbing sad cry.

His sitter has taken on an adorable 8 month old little boy who is there parttime in the mornings. At first my son kinda ignored him. However, his sitter mentioned to me today that my son does not want to be anywhere near the little boy, and prefers to stay upstairs playing alone. He throws a fit when he has to come down to eat or play while the little boy is there. I think he may be jealous? My son was previously the youngest child there. His sitter can’t get him interested in food, arts and crafts or anything else.

We are both at a loss of what to do. He’ll be 2.5 on the 16th. Is he approaching a mile stone maybe? He has had a language explosion the last few days. Lots of sentences and his personality is really coming out. I don’t know what to do to make this transition at his sitters easier for him. I don’t know how else to reassure him at home. I make sure to spend one on one time with him during the day, and to tell him I love him, and give him lots of cuddles and snuggles, and to always be there for him when he needs a hug. I drop whatever I’m doing and pick him up. I don’t know what else to do for this sweet child, but it pains me to see him so clingy just when I thought he’d FINALLY grown out of it. I don’t necessarily want to “push” him out of this, b/c I don’t think that would be productive, and would probably make the problem worse, I just want to be able to help him deal w/ this, and I don’t know how. He’s such a creature of habit. Any little change in his routine, and he goes nuts.

Help?

[EmilytheStrange]

I think everything you're doing is right and I don't know that there's much more that you can do.

Like it or not, he senses that something changed for you and he senses your anxiety. Even if he never saw you cry, he'd know something was up.

DD is like this right now, we just moved to a new house, so anytime we'd go out to put out trash or whatever, she'd have a full on fit. It has calmed down considerably now that we've been here a couple weeks. I anticipate that your son will calm down naturally as time passes.

As for the sitter situation, I'm not sure. Perhaps he just needs space. Other than the supervision issue, is there a problem with him playing alone? I'd have her bring the toys that he's playing with downstairs, maybe put a blanket down for him to have his own 'space' and try to let him play solo.

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange I think everything you're doing is right and I don't know that there's much more that you can do. Like it or not, he senses that something changed for you and he senses your anxiety. Even if he never saw you cry, he'd know something was up. DD is like this right now, we just moved to a new house, so anytime we'd go out to put out trash or whatever, she'd have a full on fit. It has calmed down considerably now that we've been here a couple weeks. I anticipate that your son will calm down naturally as time passes. As for the sitter situation, I'm not sure. Perhaps he just needs space. Other than the supervision issue, is there a problem with him playing alone? I'd have her bring the toys that he's playing with downstairs, maybe put a blanket down for him to have his own 'space' and try to let him play solo.

Agree. Just keep it up.