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Old 11-20-2012, 12:24 AM   #1
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Another MIL post..WWYD?

DH and I don't talk to his mother, because we've had lots of problems with her in the past and to be blunt, she's crazy. We've been out of contact with her almost the entire time I've been pregnant. The other day we received a package in the mail with no note or card, but it was a baby gift. I posted it on fb and SIL responded saying her mom sent it. We decided to keep the gift and were planning on sending a TY card. But, now she has started causing ridiculous amounts of drama again...We are torn as to whether or not we should keep the gift. We don't feel that it's right for us to keep a gift from someone that we aren't speaking to. Our justification for keeping it was that it was something she wanted the baby to have, but now that there is drama involved, it's not worth it to us. The issue is, it will cost us a good chunk of money to send it back because of it's size. WWYD?
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:32 AM   #2
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Hmm...

Your MIL started the drama? What kind of drama? If its just her gossiping about you keeping a gift but not talking to her, I'd ignore her. If she actually contacted you to start a fight or demand you pay her back by letting her visit or something I'd tell her that she's welcome to purchase postage for it via PayPal to have it sent back to her, or you could call the company to ask about having it returned.

I'd lean more toward ignoring anything she says/does unless she actually outright confronts you.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:33 AM   #3
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And if the drama is unrelated to the gift and is just standard drama, I'd keep it and not worry about returning it unless she's asking you to do so. I think making a scene out of returning it would just make more drama if the gift itself isn't a focus of the drama you're refering to.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:37 AM   #4
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

I don't think that returning a gift should have to cost you $$.

You could send a thank you note from your baby, then dont initiate any more communication with her/ignore her attempts involve you in any drama. If a gift receipt was included you could return the gift & mail her the money you got back. Many retailers offer a card for store credit if you don't have a receipt & you could mail that back to her if you find a retailer that carries the item you were gifted.

But, if the gift was sent anonymously the sender should not expect a thank you.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:55 AM   #5
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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Originally Posted by raymark View Post
You could send a thank you note from your baby, then dont initiate any more communication with her/ignore her attempts involve you in any drama.
That was the original plan, but DH got a bit heated when he saw what she was going around posting and wanted nothing to do with the gift. He said we'd do whatever the ladies on Diaper Swappers said. So, I guess that's what we'll do!

The reason we can't return it in store and it costs us $$$ to ship is because we are overseas.

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Wait for her to try to claim entitlement because she sent a gift & then simply state that you accepted the gift as a gift, not as blackmail.
Oooh, that's good.

Last edited by lizxvx; 11-20-2012 at 12:56 AM.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:38 AM   #6
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

The drama isn't about the gift, but now that I think she feels entitled to be involved since she bought us a gift. We found out yesterday that baby has dropped and is engaged and my step MIL was super excited so she posted on fb about how she was so excited to be a grandma and can't wait..then MIL comes back on step MIL fb with this (I took out my DH and SIL name),

"I guess it must be. Nobody has ever loved 'J' more than me, but, he doesn't make time for me, and is not part of my life. I haven't talked to him since spring. Every time I tried to call or email, he acted like it made him angry. So I stopped. He never called me to tell me it was a boy. I found out when I told 'A' one day that I liked the name Sophia. She told me it was a boy. Neither 'A' nor me knew the name was Oliver till today. For some reason, he has been hateful toward me almost since he married Liz. Oliver is the name we had picked if 'A' was a boy. It was going to be Oliver Ben."
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:05 AM   #7
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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Originally Posted by lizxvx View Post
The drama isn't about the gift, but now that I think she feels entitled to be involved since she bought us a gift. We found out yesterday that baby has dropped and is engaged and my step MIL was super excited so she posted on fb about how she was so excited to be a grandma and can't wait..then MIL comes back on step MIL fb with this (I took out my DH and SIL name),

"I guess it must be. Nobody has ever loved 'J' more than me, but, he doesn't make time for me, and is not part of my life. I haven't talked to him since spring. Every time I tried to call or email, he acted like it made him angry. So I stopped. He never called me to tell me it was a boy. I found out when I told 'A' one day that I liked the name Sophia. She told me it was a boy. Neither 'A' nor me knew the name was Oliver till today. For some reason, he has been hateful toward me almost since he married Liz. Oliver is the name we had picked if 'A' was a boy. It was going to be Oliver Ben."
Good grief. Why are MIL and step MIL FB friends anyway? Sounds like a recipe for disaster there. Now she's claiming to have named your baby, and implying it's your fault that her son doesn't like her. If she sent the gift anonymously, IMO she shouldn't expect a thank you not. I think returning it will cause more drama, I'd send a thank you from baby and be done with it.
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Old 11-20-2012, 11:16 AM   #8
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
Good grief. Why are MIL and step MIL FB friends anyway? Sounds like a recipe for disaster there. Now she's claiming to have named your baby, and implying it's your fault that her son doesn't like her. If she sent the gift anonymously, IMO she shouldn't expect a thank you not. I think returning it will cause more drama, I'd send a thank you from baby and be done with it.
I agree with all of this.

If you're really done with MIL then I would suggest you block her on FB, you can't get drawn into drama you aren't aware of.
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Old 11-20-2012, 01:00 PM   #9
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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If you're really done with MIL then I would suggest you block her on FB, you can't get drawn into drama you aren't aware of.
Done! I keep forgetting that you can block people and it keeps them from seeing you and you seeing them.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:58 PM   #10
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Re: Another MIL post..WWYD?

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Good grief. Why are MIL and step MIL FB friends anyway? Sounds like a recipe for disaster there.
Because step MIL is too nice and wants us all to be a family because the divorce/remarriage happened 30+ years ago and sees no reason to not get along. But, I think she has finally taken her off of her friends list!
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